Age jokes

My mum touched my friend, but she wasn’t the she’s only 12.

My friend jokingly confessed to me she did prostitution (consensual).

She wasn't joking. :0

We are 15....

Are your forehead and your hairline best friends because they look like they go way back?

I like my women like I like my scotch:

12 years old and mixed with coke.

What's the difference between Stephen Hawking and a baby? The baby is still alive.

TJ's hairline so far back you still couldn't find it when the Devil was alive.

Yo mama so old, she was a waitress at the last supper.

Why did an old man fall in a well?

Because he couldn't see that well.

If babies stay in their mothers for 9 months, are they not 9 months old when they are born?

Old.

I f..... Nan and dust came out. 😂

Most people my age have had sex. Not my fault I'm not able to fit in.

If an old person tells you what to do just say, "At least my parents are alive!"

A man is standing on the side of the road, waiting to cross, when another man stands alongside him. The first man says, "I have been waiting to cross here for ages. It's impossible to cross."

The second man says, "There is a zebra crossing up the road." He said, "I hope he is having better luck than I am!"

Yo mama's so old, she walked out of a museum and the alarm went off.

How old do you have to be to drink? Any age.

What did the old chimney say to the young chimney?

"You're too young to smoke!"

That's not even a bad joke-

What does 9 and 36 add up to?

A life in prison.

3 boys were having a debate about who had the healthiest grandma.

Boy 1: "I have the healthiest grandma. She is 67 years old and can still do a backflip!"

Boy 2: "No, I have the healthiest grandma. She is 76 years old and can still finish a marathon!"

Boy 3: "I have the healthiest grandma. She is 85 and she is in the hospital..."

Boy 1 and 2, looking confused.

Boy 1: "If she's so healthy, why is she in the hospital?"

Boy 3: "Because she's giving birth right now!"

What’s the difference between a Catholic priest and a zit?

A zit will wait until you’re twelve before it comes on your face.