Age jokes
Yo mama's so old, she was a waitress at the Last Supper.
Yo mama so old,
her memory is black and white.
I like my woman like I like my wine, 12 years old and locked in the basement.
Yo mama so old, when she left the antique shop, the alarm went off.
Have you ever seen that weird ad that pops up at the bottom: sexy Russian babes looking for men older than 30, and they're 18, so is it a reverse pedo? Oh well.
As a man can confirm
Yo mama so old, she pre-ordered the Bible.
I knew you played football because your hairline is receding.
Your hairline is so far back that it killed the dinosaurs.
What do Nelson Mandela and Paul Walker have in common?
They both died at 95.
My wife is pregnant with a 3-year-old, so I gave her medicine, but now she’s pregnant with a 5-year-old.
What's the best thing about 28 year olds?
There's 20 of them.
A dad and son walk into a strip club. The people in the strip club said he was too young to be in here, so they had to leave. Ten years later, they went back there. They saw a small dancer. The father walked over there and said the woman looked too small to be in here. Her reply was... "I wasn't dancing ten years ago."
What goes up but never comes down? Your age. You have probably heard this joke before.
"That's not my age; it's just not true.
My heart is young; the time just flew.
I'm staring at this strange old face, and someone else is in my space."
L bozos fell like my grandma on the stairs.
I f..... Nan and dust came out. 😂
What did the pirate say when he turned 80?
"Aye, matey."
So one time I was looking up the definition of "accident" because I was a little dumbo and didn’t know what it meant. Then my sister walks up behind me and points at the word and says, “That’s you!” (meaning that I was an accident).
A few minutes later, we had a big family meeting and my dad said to my sister, “Sweetie, you were an accident. We didn’t mean to make you, but we still love you with everything we’ve got.”
My sister never talked to me again and left the house. She was 17 when she left. Seriously, 17-year-olds just never mature, huh?
Yo mama is so old that when she was in history class as a kid, all they learned about was themselves!
Yo mama so old that when she farts, she farts dust!