Age jokes
What has four legs in the morning, two legs at noon, and three legs in the evening?
A kitchen chair! Your momma sits in it for lunch, and your dad only manages to reattach one of the two legs that broke off by evening.
Little girls cry. Big girls say, "F*ck."
Organise my brother's bucks party and got confused when he asked for a hot 22 year old for I brought him 20 two yr Olds....
Good thing my brother's a little bit different.
What age is served for breakfast?
Your hairline and my grandpa go way back.
Yo hairline is so far back that it was there before the Big Bang happened.
What goes up but doesn't come down?
How old is a blue plane?
Blue.
When a "Baby on Board" sticker is a little faded and beat up, you know the kid is at least a year old, and the car is safe to ram.
Yo mama is so old, when I told her to act her age, she died.
Why did the 18-year-old girl need a ladder to go to school?
Because it was High School.
What's the difference between me calling my girlfriend a pedophile and her calling me one?
Oh wait, I am because she's 10.
Girls being 14, look 18, act 21.
Boys 21, look 18 and act 14.
Most people age up on their birthdays,
Stephen levels up.
For all those Simpsons fans out there, this one I'm sure you know:
Abe: "It's rotten being old. No one listens to you."
Lisa: "It's awful being a kid. No one listens to you."
Homer: "I'm a white male, aged 18-49. Everyone listens to me--no matter how dumb my suggestions are."
I am Thor.
And next year, I will be five.
What kind of milk does a new age calf drink?
Dairy free.
Why can’t orphans watch Netflix?
Because they don't know what age rate they are…
My grandad and your hairline go way back.
How are babies and the elderly similar?
They are both fun to throw out of moving cars.