At weddings, old people tell kids, "You're next!"
At funerals, little kids tell old people, "You're next!"
Age Jokes
What is the best part of twenty-one year olds?
There's twenty of them.
My mum touched my friend, but she wasn’t the she’s only 12.
How can you tell the difference between a Christian priest and a zit?
One waits until you're twelve to come on your face.
What does dark humor and a child with cancer have in common?
That it will never get old.
Random guy: Hi, how old are you?
Me: 15
The guy: You're so young, age is just a number.
Me: Do you know what else is a number?
The guy: What?
Me: 911
Most people age up on their birthdays,
Stephen levels up.
What's the difference between Stephen Hawking and a baby? The baby is still alive.
A 60 year old man said his wife called him a paedophile the other day, strong words for a 6 year old.
What did the big chimney say to the little chimney? "You're too young to smoke."
What's the same about dark humor and kids with cancer?
They never get old.
What's the only punch that can knock out a 21 year old?
A Sandy Hook.
Yo mama so fat and old, she's the meteor that wiped out the dinosaurs!
If an old person tells you what to do just say, "At least my parents are alive!"
What do you call a girl above age 16 who says she is a virgin? A liar.
L bozos fell like my grandma on the stairs.
Yo momma is so old, she farts dust!
What do Nelson Mandela and Paul Walker have in common?
They both died at 95.
A customer asked me to look at their hairline. I time traveled back to the dinosaurs.
What’s the difference between your mum and your nan?
Your nan's a GILF!
