Age jokes

What's the difference between a Chinese person and an old person?

One lasts long and another doesn't.

Why couldn’t the underage orphan get on an adult-only website? Because you need your parents' consent.

Bro, this guy's hairline I saw the other day was nowhere to be seen.

If she’s old enough to breed, she’s old enough for me.

Which is better looking, girls or women?

I was born yesterday, and I walked down memory lane. I fell over the edge!

I always feel better when my doctor says something is normal for my age, but then think dying will also be normal for my age at some point.

Why are cops worried about drunk drivers and not elderly drivers?

"I told my mom I thought parenting got easier as the kids get older, and she laughed so hard she cried a little."

What do you call a 96-year-old who can still masturbate?

Miracle Whip.

Yo mama's so old, she was a waitress at the Last Supper.

"Did you hear about the flasher who exposed himself to two elderly ladies in Central Park? One had a stroke. The other couldn’t quite reach."

Yo mama so old,

her memory is black and white.

I like my wine like my women:

16 and in my basement.

Samuel liked Batman when he was a kid.

He still is a kid.

Yo mama's so old, her social security number is one.

A dad and son walk into a strip club. The people in the strip club said he was too young to be in here, so they had to leave. Ten years later, they went back there. They saw a small dancer. The father walked over there and said the woman looked too small to be in here. Her reply was... "I wasn't dancing ten years ago."

What kind of milk does a new age calf drink?

Dairy free.

What do Nelson Mandela and Paul Walker have in common?

They both died at 95.

He: I am 60 and I have to slog 12 hours a day to make a living. Do you call it life?

She: I am 28 and still a virgin, do you call it life?