Age jokes

Yo mama's so old, she was a waitress at the Last Supper.

"I told my mom I thought parenting got easier as the kids get older, and she laughed so hard she cried a little."

"Did you hear about the flasher who exposed himself to two elderly ladies in Central Park? One had a stroke. The other couldn’t quite reach."

I always feel better when my doctor says something is normal for my age, but then think dying will also be normal for my age at some point.

I was born yesterday, and I walked down memory lane. I fell over the edge!

Samuel liked Batman when he was a kid.

He still is a kid.

What do you call a 96-year-old who can still masturbate?

Miracle Whip.

What's the difference between a Chinese person and an old person?

One lasts long and another doesn't.

Why can't an orphan get a tattoo at a young age?

They don't have parent permission.

Imagine if Joe Biden was elected for a second term.

He would be the first president to be assassinated by a slick bathtub.

If she’s old enough to breed, she’s old enough for me.

Why couldn’t the underage orphan get on an adult-only website? Because you need your parents' consent.

Bro, this guy's hairline I saw the other day was nowhere to be seen.

Which is better looking, girls or women?

A dad and son walk into a strip club. The people in the strip club said he was too young to be in here, so they had to leave. Ten years later, they went back there. They saw a small dancer. The father walked over there and said the woman looked too small to be in here. Her reply was... "I wasn't dancing ten years ago."

What do Nelson Mandela and Paul Walker have in common?

They both died at 95.

What kind of milk does a new age calf drink?

Dairy free.

He: I am 60 and I have to slog 12 hours a day to make a living. Do you call it life?

She: I am 28 and still a virgin, do you call it life?

Little Red Riding Hood has to deliver food to her grandma again. She can drive now because she is sixteen. One the way, she accidentally took the wrong way and got to a different forest where her grandma lives now. She found the wrong cottage that looked like her grandma's home. When she opened the door, she found her younger and older sisters of ages 9, 11, 18, and 22. How old is Little Red Riding Hood?

Answer: 16

My girlfriend's pregnant. I'm 13. She was raped.