Age jokes
What does dark humor and a child with cancer have in common?
That it will never get old.
What's the difference between milk and a cancer patient?
There's none, they both don't age well.
Yo mama so old, her photos are in a museum and her friends are in a graveyard.
Bro, Asian girls have the weirdest names. I was fucking one and she kept on saying, "I'm Tu Yung."
Johnny Depp once said in an interview: "I get older, my girlfriends stay the same age."
Maybe Johnny Depp's soulmate isn't born yet. We'll see in 20-25 years.
When the Lego box says 6-99 years but you eat it in 20 minutes.
Girl, you must be a Muslim because you are only 5 years old, yet you know how to give great head.
Q: What's the best thing about fucking 28 year olds?
A: There's 20 of them.
Don't flirt when there is Life Alert!
Edna: Hey there big boy!
Big boy: You need to stop doing this.
Yo mama so fat and old, she's the meteor that wiped out the dinosaurs!
I have just started a sexual relationship with a blind woman. It's very rewarding, but quite challenging.
Took me ages to get her husband's voice right.
My mum touched my friend, but she wasn’t the she’s only 12.
Today at the bank, an old lady asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her... she had really bad balance.
Once there was an old lady...
Congratulations, stop bragging!
My girlfriend broke up with me yesterday. I asked her why. She said, "Because you're a pedophile." I replied, "Pedophile! That's a big word for an eight year old."
What’s the difference between Nelson Mandela and Paul Walker?
They both died at 95.
[Them]: "Don't you think you'll feel ashamed of all the suicide jokes you've made when you get older?"
[Me]: "When I what?" 0-0
Me and my wife were out at dinner. Me being 48 and her being 19, people were screaming at us and calling me a creep. It really ruined our 10th anniversary.
A man is standing on the side of the road, waiting to cross, when another man stands alongside him. The first man says, "I have been waiting to cross here for ages. It's impossible to cross."
The second man says, "There is a zebra crossing up the road." He said, "I hope he is having better luck than I am!"
L bozos fell like my grandma on the stairs.