Age jokes
Yo mama so old that when she farts, she farts dust!
I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high.
She looked at me surprised.
(P.S. I am not at that age plus I am as straight as a helix ruler.)
My girlfriend is 19 and I'm 29. We go out to eat in a restaurant, but the whole time I have to deal with being accused of being a pedo, being called disgusting and disturbed.
It completely ruined our 10 year anniversary.
"That's not my age; it's just not true.
My heart is young; the time just flew.
I'm staring at this strange old face, and someone else is in my space."
How old is a blue plane?
Blue.
Yo mama so old, she was there when Moses was born.
Borthwick's hairline.
Hey, guess what I got for my birthday.
No, what did you get? Older.
Is it weird that a milk carton has a date, and I don’t?
I like my lovers like I like my whiskey, 12 years old and mixed up with coke.
Are you wearing a diaper? Because your butt looks so saggy.
What do you call a 100-year-old frog?
An old croak!
I always feel better when my doctor says something is normal for my age, but then think dying will also be normal for my age at some point.
Q: What's the best thing about fucking 28 year olds?
A: There's 20 of them.
What's the difference between 20 and 14?
9 to 10 years.
What’s the best part about having sex with 23 year olds... there’s 20 of them.
I was born yesterday, and I walked down memory lane. I fell over the edge!
Two old people sitting on a bench. One turns to the other and says, "My butt fell asleep." The other says, "Yep, I heard it snore a couple of times."
A man boards a plane with six children of various ages.
After the plane takes off, a woman sitting behind the man asks him, “Are all of them yours?”
“No,” the man responds. “I work for a condom company and these are some of the customer complaints.”
My father left me at a young age.
He was only five.