If an old person tells you what to do just say, "At least my parents are alive!"
Why have sex when you can perv on your neighbor's grandma!
Gwen is back, Freshfry is back, Addison Banks is back... This website is coming back to the golden age!
I was on a bus when this girl offered to blow me for $5.
...and never being a person to pass up a good deal, I gave her $5 and watched her do her thing. After she was finished she lit up a cigarette and started smoking right there on the bus.
I was disgusted. I thought to myself, "What is this world coming to? Who sells cigarettes to a 12 year old?"
I’m rather relaxed about death.
From quite an early age, I’ve regarded it as part of the deal, the unwritten guarantee that comes with your birth certificate.
What is the difference between Betty White and Paul Walker?
Betty didn’t reach 100 before she died.
Why can’t orphans watch Netflix?
Because they don't know what age rate they are...
Yeah man! Life is wonderful! But, when you realize all of the ones you loved were fake.
And when you die, does your online friends notice? How will they notice? Or will they ever notice? Is 13 age too young for dying? Am I just paranoid? I'm scared.
What's the difference between a Catholic priest and acne?
Acne waits until you're 13 to come on your face.
The Big Bang happened 16.8 billion years ago, and matter cannot be created or destroyed. Therefore, we are all technically 16.8 billion years old. So, to answer your question, officer, yes, she is of age.
At the age of 100, you get a letter from the Queen. At 12, you get a DM from Prince Charles.
When you turn 100, you get a letter from the Queen. When you turn 16, you get a DM from Prince Andrew.
Orphan jokes aren't to be made fun of.
They're just aimed at older audiences. Oh wait.
THEY AREN'T EVEN OLDER AGES.
Why didn't R. Kelly go to Germany to fuck teens? The legal age there is 14...Like bro hop on a plane and fuck a 14 year old hooker!
Girls are like math, if they're under 10, use your fingers.
What’s the best thing about 26 year olds?
There are 20 of them.
Why did the guy's birthday party stink?
Because he was turning farty!
I like my wine how I like my women: 7 years old, and locked up in my basement.
Why did Michael Jackson decide to sell the ranch?
Because it was over 10 years old.
What's the best thing about fucking twenty-one year olds?
That there's twenty of them hoo hoo hee hooo harr haar dee harr harr
