Some trans "woman" came up to me and told me to act my age so I told him to act his gender
Did you know that McDonald's made a Michael Jackson burger? It’s a 50-year-old piece of meat in a 12-year-old bun.
Yo mama so old when she farts, dust comes out.
Captain America is a 106-year-old virgin.
L bozos fell like my grandma on the stairs.
For all those Simpsons fans out there, this one I'm sure you know:
Abe: "It's rotten being old. No one listens to you."
Lisa: "It's awful being a kid. No one listens to you."
Homer: "I'm a white male, aged 18-49. Everyone listens to me--no matter how dumb my suggestions are."
My Grandpa said, “Your generation relies too much on technology!” I replied, “We'll see about that.” Then I unplugged his life support.
Your forehead goes back to when Burger King was Burger Prince.
Your hairline is so far back I learned about it in history class.
Babe, I'm breaking up with you.
Why? I'm turning 18 tomorrow.
If she’s old enough to smoke, She’s old enough to choke.
If she’s old enough to pee, She’s old enough for me.
What’s the difference between a dad and a boomer age?
Your hairline goes all the way back to when Burger King was a Burger Prince.
I have the brains of an old man and the heart of a child. If you don't believe me, I can pop my trunk.
What do you call a girl above age 16 who says she is a virgin? A liar.
I had a huge crush on this girl when I was eight. One recess we met together on the playground, and she brought me to the corner of the playground. That was my first kiss, and from there it got serious. I told my parents a week later and they freaked out, called the police, and they arrested my crush. I miss Mrs. Johnson.
A dad and son walk into a strip club. The people in the strip club said he was too young to be in here, so they had to leave. Ten years later, they went back there. They saw a small dancer. The father walked over there and said the woman looked too small to be in here. Her reply was... "I wasn't dancing ten years ago."
What’s the difference between a Catholic priest and a zit?
A zit will wait until you’re twelve before it comes on your face.
What’s the best part about sex with 28-year-olds?
There are twenty of them.
What did the old chimney say to the young chimney?
"You're too young to smoke!"
That's not even a bad joke-
