Age jokes
Did you know that McDonald's have a new McScully burger?
It's a 59-year-old piece of meat in a 2-year-old bun.
Yo mama so old, she got nostalgia for the Big Bang!
Yo mama so old, she witnessed Noah building the ark.
if priests were on Twitter, they would tweet, "He's a 10 but he's 10."
Yo mama is so old, she is the founder of the pyramid of Egypt.
Yo mama so old, I bet she was born when dinosaurs were made, and also she killed them with they breath! 😭😭
I saw your license. It said you're 15.
I checked your face. It says you're 50.
Old ladies are non existent.
Your hairline goes back to the Middle Ages.
I used to look up to my mom, but now that I am 12, I look down on her.
When a 68 year old teacher says: "I am going to tackle an intruder if I have to!"
Me: "Oh hell nah"
"Help! I've fallen and I can't get up!"
Your hairline is so long that sometimes even the president doesn't know where it ends.
God damn it. Fuck Christianity. I'm fucking 30 years old and still a virgin.
THAT'S A JOKE GOD DAMMIT!
A guy asked me what I do for a living.
Now I'm not old enough to get a job, so I said nothing. He asked me again, so I said, "Your wife!" The guy goes to slap me, but his wife is standing right there. She instead slapped me and said, "You swore not to tell!"
Q. When is your grandfather's bedtime?
A. Three hours after he falls asleep on the couch.
Why would the chicken not cross the road?
Because it's too old. (The joke is old.) (The chicken is old.)
Me: What's the difference between me and my grandpa?
Friends: What?
Me: I've been alive for the past 14 years.
On a scale of 1-10, how old was Michael Jackson’s last boyfriend?
Most people my age have had sex. Not my fault I'm not able to fit in.