Age

Age jokes

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I had a huge crush on this girl when I was eight. One recess we met together on the playground, and she brought me to the corner of the playground. That was my first kiss, and from there it got serious. I told my parents a week later and they freaked out, called the police, and they arrested my crush. I miss Mrs. Johnson.

A dad and son walk into a strip club. The people in the strip club said he was too young to be in here, so they had to leave. Ten years later, they went back there. They saw a small dancer. The father walked over there and said the woman looked too small to be in here. Her reply was... "I wasn't dancing ten years ago."

What’s the difference between a Catholic priest and a zit?

A zit will wait until you’re twelve before it comes on your face.

What’s the best part about sex with 28-year-olds?

There are twenty of them.

What did the old chimney say to the young chimney?

"You're too young to smoke!"

That's not even a bad joke-

Gwen is back, Freshfry is back, Addison Banks is back... This website is coming back to the golden age!

I was on a bus when this girl offered to blow me for $5.

...and never being a person to pass up a good deal, I gave her $5 and watched her do her thing. After she was finished she lit up a cigarette and started smoking right there on the bus.

I was disgusted. I thought to myself, "What is this world coming to? Who sells cigarettes to a 12 year old?"

I’m rather relaxed about death.

From quite an early age, I’ve regarded it as part of the deal, the unwritten guarantee that comes with your birth certificate.

Why can’t orphans watch Netflix?

Because they don't know what age rate they are...

Yeah man! Life is wonderful! But, when you realize all of the ones you loved were fake.

And when you die, does your online friends notice? How will they notice? Or will they ever notice? Is 13 age too young for dying? Am I just paranoid? I'm scared.

What's the difference between a Catholic priest and acne?

Acne waits until you're 13 to come on your face.

The Big Bang happened 16.8 billion years ago, and matter cannot be created or destroyed. Therefore, we are all technically 16.8 billion years old. So, to answer your question, officer, yes, she is of age.

At the age of 100, you get a letter from the Queen. At 12, you get a DM from Prince Charles.

When you turn 100, you get a letter from the Queen. When you turn 16, you get a DM from Prince Andrew.

Orphan jokes aren't to be made fun of.

They're just aimed at older audiences. Oh wait.

THEY AREN'T EVEN OLDER AGES.