Aed jokes
Chicken on a stick with a macaroni tick.
Your hairline reminds me of a car taking a U-turn.
What do you call a whale on a beach?
Banked.
Roads be so rough in Oklahoma, I saw a high lifted truck get ended riding lower than a Hot Wheels car.
I was thinking of starting up a stair company, but there were too many steps to it.
How many emos does it take to fix a light?
I don't know because they never came down.
I want a series too, that will be SANS-tastic!
When I throw a dodge ball at a person taller than me, it's always a nut shot.
Q: What is the worst thing to hear your surgeon say?
A: Oops, I dropped my lollipop!
Sans: What am I using?
A trom-bone!
I got evicted from the hospital today for telling all the patients to stay positive!
What a negative effect!
A farmer walks into his bedroom with his wife in bed with a sheep under his arm and says, "This is the pig I'm fucking." She says, "You idiot, that's a sheep!" He says, "Shut up, I wasn't talking to you."
You suck harder than a vacuum ever will :)
A farmer artificially impregnated a cow. The cow said to another cow, "It's a miracle, I'm pregnant." The other cow said, "That's impossible, it's only us cows in the field, you must be joking." The first cow said, "Nope, I'm serious... no bull!"
I want some cheeseburgers just to eat. I'm talkin' ketchup. My n***a mustard on that BEAT!
Yo body so plastic that a turtle could choke on your peeled skin!
Some kid in a wheelchair called me fat.
I told her, "Do a wheelie!"
Q: What do you call a gay cowboy?
A: A jolly rancher.
Q: What did the stop light say to the other stop light?
A: Stop looking, I’m changing!
A doctor walks into his office and looks his patient in the eyes, "Sir, you have to stop jerking off."
The man asks, "Why?"
The doctor then says, "Because I'm trying to examine you."