Aed jokes
I lost my job making storage units for the police after a week. I guess you could say it was a brief case.
What do you call a wild party in a bamboo forest?
Panda-monium!
Why was the dog so stressed out?
It had a ruff day.
What do you call a cow that no one likes? The mooser.
A can of worms popping up and down inside a lot of people and a girl ate the can of worms: It was her imaginenation.
A grasshopper walked into a bar and sat down at the counter.
The bartender looked at him and said, "We have a drink named after you." The grasshopper replied, "Who names a drink Steve?"
While I was walking on the road, a cat crossed my road, and 5 min later I found it fell in the gutter.
Q: What's the similarity between a dog and a bed?
A: I can jump on my bed. A: And I use a pillow on both of them.
I am a dead baby. -end joke-
There is a similarity between my wallet and an onion.
They always make me cry.
What happens once every minute, twice every millennium, but never in a hundred years?
The letter M.
An Irishman walks out of a bar.
Wanna hear a joke?
Yeah.
...
What's the joke?
I said it already!
I saw your mother get into a white Ford Taurus on the corner of Milton and Halliburton, and you're still trying to tell me she ain't got no job cause she "can't get a ride to work?"
This is a joke in itself.
What do you call a chicken that catches ghosts? A poultrygeist.
"Yes?" she inquires with a knowing smile. "May I help you?"
"I was wondering," whispers the man, "are you the one who gives the handjobs?"
"Yes," she purrs, "I am."
The man replies, "Well, wash your hands, I want a cheeseburger."
When I went to see the doctor, he remarked that he hadn't seen me in a while.
I said that I have been ill.
I told my friend to look at the clock, then I said, "Is this a bad time?"
My reverse psychologist told me I didn't have it in me to make a recovery.