Aed jokes
What did the skeleton play when he joined the band?
A tromBONE.
Yo' mama is so stupid, she couldn't find a needle in a haystack.
What did the stop sign say to the street sign when he couldn't read a map?
"Can you give me some pointers?"
Did you hear about the man who backed into a meat grinder?
I guess you could say... he was a little behind on his work.
I lost my job making storage units for the police after a week. I guess you could say it was a brief case.
Why was the dog so stressed out?
It had a ruff day.
You just made a Mist-ake.
Q: How heavy is a photon?
A: It's light!
I searched on Google, "How to start a wildfire?"
I got 39,300,000 matches.
Me: Knock knock.
Friend: Who's there?
Me: A broken pencil.
Friend: A broken pencil who?
Me: Nevermind, it's pointless.
If I had a coin for every time someone said, "If I had a coin," I'd still be living paycheck to paycheck.
The QUEEN is JACK! KING off the JOKER!
I know what you're thinking, pervert. Actually, the joke's about a jester in drag. OK, I’m joking, the Queen cheated on the King with the Jester.
Hi I did a...
A can of worms popping up and down inside a lot of people and a girl ate the can of worms: It was her imaginenation.
A guy entered a library and wanted to get some books to read. He was searching across the books, and the librarian asked him,
Librarian: What are you looking for?
Man: I am looking for a book!
Librarian: Which book?
Man: Facebook.
What's a woodpecker's favorite kind of jokes?
Knock knock ones.
While I was walking on the road, a cat crossed my road, and 5 min later I found it fell in the gutter.
Mary has a house near a forest. She lives with her bro, and she once asked, "How many trees are there?" Her bro said: "I don't know." She said: "Tree."
Q: What's the similarity between a dog and a bed?
A: I can jump on my bed. A: And I use a pillow on both of them.
I am a dead baby. -end joke-