Aed jokes

What do you call a terrorist at a cinema?

A box office bomb.

Why is the older brother's kid brother that has autism always performing fellatio on his older brother?

Because he wants to find out how many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop.

What do you call a nut that screws and then bolts?

An escapee from a mental hospital.

I was asked to design a website for an orphanage, so I decided to design it without the home page.

Teddy’s got a man in his Fanny.

Q: Who is Tracy Latimer's least favorite rapper?

A: Monoxide Child.

What's the fastest way to stop an argument between a bunch of deaf people?

Just switch off the lights.

My Mrs is going to hit the roof when she realizes I've replaced the bed with a trampoline!

Magician: "I am the greatest magician in the whole world. Look, now you see the rabbit in the hat, and now it is gone!"

Redneck girl: "That's nothing. My dad is the greatest magician! He disappears for a whole year and reappears at Christmas for a couple of hours!"

What does a blind kid and an orphan have in common?

They can’t see their parents.

I'd make a joke about the chin bones, but y'all couldn't mandle it.

Orphan: I'm hungry.

Dad: Let's go to KFC.

Orphan 2: Boy, you don't got a dad!

I heard the Kardashians were going on a cruise soon.

As if there's not already enough plastic in the ocean.

What do you call Mordecai dressing up as a basketball player?

Blue Jay Simpson!

Man: Aw man, I'm having a bad day.

Man's friend: Same.

Man: So why did you have a bad day? My brother got hit by the school bus.

Man's friend: I got fired as a bus driver.

Man: Oh great heavens!

Ever noticed that "lol" looks like a person drowning?

In Saudi Arabia, there lived a man named Abdul.

Abdul rhymes with Azul, the Spanish word for blue.

And he probably be lookin' more blue than me.

My ex's dad died while she was texting me. She said she had a boyfriend, but I told her I had a dad.

What's an astronaut's favorite game? Space-ball!

Your hairline so far back, it's a wide receiver for the Minnesota Vikings.