Aed jokes
Q: Why was Barbie kicked out of the toy box?
A: She sat on Pinocchio's face and said, "Lie to me!"
To write with a broken pencil is pointless.
What's the difference between a Demon and a Redhead?
The Demon at least has a trade offer.
How do you get a Japanese fanclub?
Walk around with a bundle of gas masks!
A gay couple and a lesbian couple are going to the airport, which one gets there first? The lesbian, duh, they get there "lickety-split."
Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"
What's a priest's favorite fruit?
Cantaloupe.
Spock went to the Enterprise's toilet and he knocked on it. "Kirk, are you in there?" Spock asked.
Kirk answered, "Hold on, I am making a captain's log."
How do you know a vampire's sick?
If he's coffin (coughing?)
What did the grape say when the elephant sat on it?
Nothing, it just let out a little wine!
What do you call a bear with no teeth?
A gummy bear.
Just because you have a career in the North doesn't mean you are North Korean.
A priest sees a man about to commit suicide. The man says, "I have nothing to live for here. I will die, go to Heaven, and get 72 virgins." Then the priest says, "No need for this. I will take you to the local elementary school."
A man is being sued for raping a deaf girl. The judge, showing his pinky:
"You should be ashamed, man, your conscience is even smaller than that!"
The girl, showing her arm:
"Mhhhmmhmm, mhhmhm!"
I was the manager at a McDonald’s in Turin when I saw Penaldo walk in and submit a job application. I asked him to show me his skills and experience, but he just started diving and asking for pens and tap-ins. I was confused until Penaldo told me that’s all he knows how to do.
What do you say to a depressed person?
"I like ya cut, G."
Yo mama so fat, when she put on a yellow raincoat people see her and yell "Hey yo, taxi!"
Roses are red, My heart, my heart is dead. I have a gun straight to my head.
I kicked a soccer ball at a kid in a wheelchair and said, "Rocket League!"
What do a bullet and a police officer have in common?
When a bullet kills someone, it gets fired.