Aed jokes

Once a cheetah, always a cheetah.

Q: Why should you stand in the corner if you get cold? A: It’s always 90 degrees.

Why couldn't the orphan go on the school field trip?

Because it required a parent's signature.

Stephen Hawking was a spac. But if you put an E on the end, you get space, and he loved that.

What's the fastest way to get to the hospital? Stand in the middle of the road.

Did you hear about the guy who got electrocuted?

It was quite a shocker.

What is a pirate's favorite letter? A letter from his family; he hadn't seen them in years.

What do you find up a ghost's nose? A BOOger.

You have more chins than a Hong Kong telephone book!

So, this woman had a job. She wanted to hang out with her boyfriend, so she lied about having the coronavirus. Then she got out of work. Then she was texting her boss when she thought she was texting her boyfriend. Then she said, "I lied. Now we can...you know...water...sigh...lick...sigh." Then her boss texted, "Ew and YOU'RE FIRED."

One more story: One day this teen named Alexis got kicked out of a house, then went to live with her boyfriend. Then she got pregnant and posted it all on social media.

I looked at your hairline, and when I saw you, I thought to myself of the last time I was a baby.

What's the difference between a watermelon and an orphan?

One you cut into 2 with a knife.

And the watermelon you cut into pieces.

All right, I know one joke. Um, there's a mollusk, see? And he walks up to a sea...

Well, he doesn't walk up, he swims up.

Well, actually, the mollusk isn't moving, he's in one place.

And then the sea cucumber, well, they... I mixed up.

There was a mollusk and a sea cucumber. None of them were walking, so forget that...

There was this mollusk and he walks up to a sea cucumber. Normally they don't talk, sea cucumbers, but in a joke, everyone talks.

So just then, the sea cucumber looks over to the mollusk and says, "With fronds like these, who needs anemones?"

One day there were these 3 cowboys sitting next to a fire and they were telling each other about their adventures. Well, the first cowboy said, "I tangled with a bull that killed 6 people, so I wrestled that son of a bitch to the ground with my bare hands."

The second cowboy said, "That's nothing. Yesterday I was walking on a trail and came across a rattler, so I picked it up, bit its head off, and drank all his venom in one gulp."

The third cowboy remained quiet, stirring the embers of the fire with his penis.

What is a dog with only two legs? A human.

What does a pedophile mostly pound on a piano?

A minor.

I love telling dad jokes. He always laughs.

You know the Twin Towers employees were supposed to meet a good football team. Instead, they just met the Jets.

Yo mama is so fat, they had to flood the Super Bowl to give her a bath.

What is it that a 🤔 😳 👀 😕 physicality handicapped ♿ male prostitute can do on his own very well without getting any help from his male friends that are gay like himself?

Perform fellatio on a 👨 👨 👬 gay man.