Aed jokes
"Go big or go home," that’s what some people say.
"Go loud and proud," that’s what other people say.
"Go out with a big, loud bang!" that’s what I say.
Don't believe what your school bully tells you.
Always take it with a grain of assault.
How many skinheads does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
10; 1 to do it and 9 to back him up.
Little Johnny is my son, and he got hit by a semi-truck owned by a Russian. Now I am on my way on a nuclear submarine with a Burger King Whopper to Moscow, then take revenge for little Johnny!
Why does an orphan go to a spelling bee?
So they can spell "home."
What would be the most heartbreaking scene in a dementia film? I forgor 💀.
Worst jokes ever? More like I killed an old man in 2012 in Oklahoma City at that nasty Red Lobster, not the one near the freeway, and hid the body in a creek!
A man ate a glue stick. It tasted bad. He died. Hahahahah!
When I finished high school, I wanted to take my graduation money and buy myself a motorcycle, but my mom said no.
See, she had a brother who died in a horrible motorcycle accident when he was eighteen, and I could just have his motorcycle.
You guys know the notes A Minor and D? I really like putting D in A Minor!
Abortion is becoming more and more expensive these days. So visit Ammu-nation and pick up an Armsan RS-X1 tactical shotgun. It comes with a free box of ammo and a three year warranty. Buy now, pay later.
My 14 year old daughter went shopping at a grocery story.
She gets to the register and she asked the cashier to scan her scarred wrist.
The cashier scanned it and replied with, "Ma'am this item is worthless."
Kid: Hi.
Janitor: Wtf you want, kid?
Kid: Why are you rude?
Janitor: 'Cause I have a shitty job.
How did Michael Jackson die?
Because he danced like a zombie!
What do you call a dinosaur with a butt?
A Butt-asaurus.
Sister: Hey sis, how are you today?
Me: Oh, good, you?
Sister: Good, 'cause I heard you finally got a good living life.
For being a big company, NASA is openly saying they want pictures of Uranus.
Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl urinate? Because walls.
Me: Sorry I couldn’t make it to school yesterday, I had an appointment.
Teacher: What kind of appointment?
Me: I had an appointment with a cut day. 😈😈😈
True story.
What do dead babies and fruit have in common? Both can become smoothies with the help of a blender!