Aed jokes
There's a new game in the arcade where kids can hit raging paedophiles with a mallet: Whack-A-Jack, oh!
How does a depressed couple say goodbye on the phone?
"No, you hang yourself first..."
Why did Michael Jackson die?
Because I have a new phone number, and he does not know.
What do u call a pretty Indian girl?
Bomb bae.
"Brown bear, brown bear, what do you see?" I see a blind man looking at me.
"Blind man, blind man, what do you see?"
Oh sorry, I forgot you can't see.
BAHAHA
What is the difference between a hoe's birth Daddy and her pimp Daddy?
The first daddy plants the seed in a cunt, and the second reaps the harvest from the cunt.
What’s an orphan's favorite food?
: Not home food.
Your forehead is so big that we may as well call it a fivehead.
When you tell your friend he’s a simp and isn’t offended, say it stands for sucking intensely at monkeys' penises.
My nan broke her toe on a brick today. Last time she broke her toe because she kicked her car tire. Does that now mean I have to tow her back to the doctors?
How are a woman and a car alike? Put something in them and they'll both start.
Why can't you play with a cheetah?
Because they are cheat-ahs!
How many redheads does it take to change a lightbulb?
One! She holds the bulb and the world revolves around her.
Your forehead is so big that babies can use it as a full-sized football pitch!
My wife is an optimist. Our first night together, she handed me a Magnum XL condom. I didn’t know what to do, so I made her a balloon animal 🎈🦒.
I walked into a store, and I pointed a stick to the roof and said, "This is a stick up!"
A chicken walks into a bar.
He orders Dr. Pepper.
He then lays a good scrambled egg.
What's the king of all school supplies? A ruler.
What's a flower's favorite drink at the movie theater? Root Beer.
What's a cow's favorite place to go during his free time? The Moooovies.
Yo mama so poor, she chased a garbage truck with a shopping list.
What's the definition of rude?
Sticking a blind man in a corner and telling him to find his wife.