Aed jokes
Why didn't the butcher cut the fillet?
Because it was a misteak.
How does an artist fill in a CV?
He draws on experience.
A drum rolled down a hill. Ba-dum-tsssh!
What did one brain cell say to the other brain cell?
"I think I feel a connection!"
I'm taking a guitar lesson at school. My band instructor told me he was going to hit me with my guitar. I asked him if that was a fret.
He dead, he alive, but most importantly, he got a new hard drive.
Who's a pineapple? I'm a pineapple... Yass.
Teacher and kid.
Kid: Hey, teacher.
Teacher: Yes?
Kid: Would you punish me for something I didn't do?
Teacher: Of course not.
Kid: Well, I didn't do my homework!
Is it weird that a milk carton has a date, and I don’t?
Why do they tell actors to "break a leg"?
Because every play has a cast.
Why is my dick like a balloon?
The more you blow it, the bigger it gets.
Are you a volcano? Because you're hot and I really lava you!
You can lead a horse to water, but a pencil must be lead.
I want a job cleaning mirrors. I could really see myself doing it!
A baby seal walks into a club...
I cannot believe no one's come up with a cure for anorexia yet. I thought it would be a piece of cake!
How did the man with a small penis become a rapist? His condom fell off.
The amount of women judging me for raping a poor lady is terrible. You weren't there. You don't know!
Why does a brother love his sister?
Because he came in her.
Their family portrait is also a dating app.
There was a person inside who needed help from the police, but the police changed their number, so he ordered a party with pizzas from 2 airplanes, but the pilots were stupid, so they put people instead of pizzas, and one landed on the 93rd floor and the 94th floor, literally.