Aed jokes
What do you call a skeleton's egg?
An egg-i-BONE!
Daughter: So, I got my period.
Mom: That's wonderful, dear! Now you can bleed for a whole week a month without dying!
Daughter: That's nice, Mum, but isn't the whole point of getting your period dying?
Mom: Yes, but you have to kill yourself a little longer to live through to another day.
Daughter: Thanks, Mum. That makes a whole lot of sense. (Sarcastically.)
Mom: You're welcome, honey. (Clueless, obviously.)
Most people say I'm a clown. Yet they don't laugh at my jokes. Most people avoid me because I'm a "clown". Yet I'm not the center of the circus. But I know I'm gonna be a clown forever. Because I can't take this damn mask off, no matter how hard I try.
Weeks later: Finally I found out why I'm being called a clown...because my smiling face is fake...
What do you call a Downey with glasses?
No, me neither.
A disabled kid kept throwing up in class.
So I threw him out the window!
One day, I put a lady taffy on my ass.
Wanna know why the plane actually crashed?
Someone turned off flight mode.
(Or a kid just turned on airplane mode.)
You need to play a B flat, not a C sharp, you just got band!
Have you heard of the new sequel to "The Exorcist"?
A woman hires the devil to get a priest out of her son.
What do you call an autistic person with a driver's license?
A LETHAL WEAPON!
Knock knock.
Who's there?
A murderer.
A murderer who--
Is cut off by being murdered.
Is there a really annoying girl at your school and she's so fake? Well, say this:
Me: Hey, I have a nickname for you.
Her: Really? What?
Me: Sweet-in-low.
Her: Why?
Me: Because you're artificial.
What’s the similarities between a pillow and your mom?
They’re both in my bed.
I got LEGOs for Christmas, and my friend got her father's headstone.
Q: Do you know the quadratic formula?
A: Duhhh!
Comment: Then solve it!
Formula: -b ± √(b2 - 4ac) / 2a
What kind of house 🏠 can fly? A magic house 🏠!
What's the same with shoes and slaves?
When they get loose, you tie them up.
What does a zebra and I have in common?
We both have stripes.
Roses are red, violets are blue, you have a big forehead, and your hairline recedes too.
A fan gave another fan a blowjob.