Aed jokes
A boy walks up to a girl and says, "I would tell you a joke about my dick, but it’s too long."
Then the girl says, "Yeah, I would tell you a joke about my pussy, but you’ll never get it."
What do you call a ruptured Chinese man?
One Hung Lo.
My dad died in 9/11, and that was the second worst thing that happened to me with a plane, next to Soul Plane.
How do you tell the difference between a girl spaghetti and a boy spaghetti?
Meatballs.
What do you call a turkey when it is scared?
A chicken.
Are you a cheese 🧀 from Denmark? Because your "guta."
Why doesn't the orphan have a nationality?
He doesn't have a motherland.
Did you hear about the new Oasis restaurant?
Every time you order soup, you got a roll with it.
Exercise?
I thought you said "extra fries!"
-A minion (you may now laugh).
As an actor going to film a new TV show in another country, when TSA asks, "What’s the purpose of your visit?"... "I’m going to shoot a pilot" is never a good answer.
Why do orphans not like 1st-5th grade teachers?
Because they have a home room.
What do you call someone 400lbs with a beer? A heavy drinker.
What is a vegetarian's favorite song?
No beef.
Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar.
One turns to the other and says, "I think I've lost my electron."
The other asks, "Are you sure?"
"Yes," the first says, "I'm positive!"
Old woman: You are such a darling child. Please come and see me again next year.
A year later, as child walks up to the door of the old lady's house...
Old woman: Oh my! Goodness sakes, child! Have you grown, or have I shrank???
Child: Both.
Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Malaysian Airlines Flight 303!
What does a gorilla attorney study?
The law of the jungle.
What do they feed a gorilla in Paris?
Ape Suzettes.
A young boy walked up to his dad and asked, "Daddy, why are you banned from coming to elementary school?"
The dad calmly replies, "Because that's how I met your mother."
Every kid in a classroom is relevant, because if one of them gets shot, they will all be featured on the news.