Aed jokes

What’s got 4 wheels, does a barrel roll, and goes from green to red in seconds?

Kermit in a car crash.

I done a thing where we have chat hangouts with people that like Gwen or just want to hang out, do stuff.

All people are invited!

We have a lot! Enjoy!

What is a paedo's favourite time of year?

Halloween because they get free delivery.

My friend came over to my house. He asked where my girlfriend was, and I told him she is in the garden.

He said, "That's weird, I didn't see her." I said, "You have to dig a little."

Me and my friends are going to create a Steps tribute band. We are all in wheelchairs, so we are going to be called "Ramps."

What is a cow that's good at math good for?

Meat pie.

Why does this website have a home page? It's an orphan joke waiting to happen.

George Floyd was in a TV show, Fresh Prince, with no air.

What will die immediately instead of having to suffer torture on the spike of a Judas cradle? A Geometry Dash icon.

I harvested indigo to make dye. I made the dye. I made a number dye. I dyed the dye. I rolled the dye. It made me die.

You're at a funeral. Your mum says be quiet, so you snigger at the body and say, "Bye forever, bitch."

You get on an elevator and you find the Pope and Donald Trump cowering from two snarling wolves. In your hand you find a revolver with only two bullets in it... what do you do?

You shoot the Pope and the Donald each in a leg and exit the elevator at the next stop.

A burger walks into a bar and says, "Hi sir, can I have a glass of water?"

And the waiter says, "I'm sorry sir, we don't serve food here."

What do you call a swimming terrorist? A bath bomb.

Why did Cleopatra bathe in milk? She couldn’t find a cow tall enough to have a shower.

Are you a bullet? 'Cause you're stuck in my head.

My stepdad took me to work, and he told me I could climb trees.

I woke up in a hospital. Wait, did I mention that my stepdad was a lumberjack?

When my mom asks, "If your friend pays you to jump off a bridge, would you do it?" I say, "No, Mom... I'd do it for free!"

I go to get my mail.

Stranger: "Something fell out of your pocket! April fools!"

Me: "You're adopted, April fools!"

Then I see an orphan behind me and gets all excited.

What's a whale's favorite James Bond movie? "License to Krill."