Aed jokes

If you were to ask me, "Where would be the worst place to commit a crime?" I would say a multi-storey car park, because if you think about it, it would be wrong on so many levels.

Even people who are good for nothing have the capacity to bring a smile to your face, for instance when you push them down the stairs.

My mom said she wanted to be a comedian when she grows up. So after she was an adult, she had kids. When they were old enough, she told them you could be whatever you want...

I came across a dead body in the woods. I liked it so much I came again.

I had a dream of swimming in an ocean of orange soda. I guess it is just a FANTAsea.

The most unrealistic part of Chotta Bheem is not him eating a laddu and getting power. It's him eating a whole laddu in one shot.

I had a joke about pizza, it's just too cheesy.

What do you get when you cross a panhandler, a politician, a lobbyist, a prostitute, a sodomite, and a Jehovah's Witness knocking on your door at your house to convert you to their religion?

The only time you see a depressed person lifted up is when they hang themselves.

Why did Jerry fall off the moon? Because he got hit by a fridge.

What's the difference between a hamster and a cigarette?

They're both harmless until you stick them in your mouth and light them on fire.

What do you call a retard in the military?

Special forces.

Dating a stripper is like eating a bag of chips in class.

Everyone looks at you in disgust, but deep down inside they want some too.

A man and a boy went into a forest. The boy said he was scared. The man said, "How do you think I feel? I have to walk back alone."

Would you rather watch PL or suck a dick?

Adapt: lemme fart on that dick.

When you're so rich that you can buy anything, you end up getting a cow in your living room. Yeah, anyways, my ex is still in my living room.

Why did the orphan not call 911 when he saw a tower catch fire?

'Cause he did not want any kids to go through the same pain.

So, I heard the CEO gave her daughter a really good spot in the company.

Everyone is mad, but I think it just goes to show that it pays to sleep with your boss.

Today I was asked if I was in favor of legalizing prostitution.

I admit I haven't given it much of a thot.

A capital E backwards is just it's mirror image.