Aed jokes
Why do black people have nightmares? Because the last person who had a dream got shot.
Why do trannies suck at being soldiers? Because they have a 41% casualty rate.
What do you call a black couple who's on welfare and food stamps?
Lay-Z and Freeyonce.
How do fat people settle arguments?
By seeing who can eat the most at a buffet.
How many brewers does it take to change a light bulb?
About one third less than for a regular bulb.
Today I asked my best friend what their favorite joke was. They started waving their hands around, and I thought it was a sign to go, thinking I had offended them or something. Turns out they were mute...
What is a dog's favorite music?
Pup rock
I'm not saying you're annoying. But if rectal herpes were a person, it would be you.
Your mum is a Rune Giant.
3 people having sex is a threesome, 2 is a twosome. So next time someone calls you 'HANDSOME', don't take it as a compliment!
Q. How does an emo scratch an itch? A. With a razor blade.
What is the difference between a nun and a hooker?
One to trust and the other to thrust.
What do you call an Iraqi who owns a camel and a goat?
Bisexual.
What's the difference between a hipster and a hockey player? A hockey player changes his pads every third period.
What do you call two natives in a ditch?
A sleepover.
What do you call a terrorist attack in Iraq? A selfie!
Did you know that good Catholic girls like to WAP?
Yeah, they are all about Worship and Prayer.
One day I was walking next to a homeless man, and he was eating grass. I asked him if he was hungry. He said yes. I said, "Follow me." You should have seen his face when I showed him my backyard!
What do the Twin Tower survivors order from Tim Hortons? A plane bagel.
I thought about making a necrophilia joke, but I knew it would be a DOA.