Aed jokes

What do you call a plate that lies? Dish-onest!

Step on your small sister's foot, she will always open her mouth like a dustbin.

Why did Cleopatra bathe in milk? She couldn’t find a cow tall enough to have a shower.

What do you call a downy who can't get a girlfriend?

Down bad.

It's a grave mistake to talk badly about the death.

A guy asked me what I do for a living.

Now I'm not old enough to get a job, so I said nothing. He asked me again, so I said, "Your wife!" The guy goes to slap me, but his wife is standing right there. She instead slapped me and said, "You swore not to tell!"

Say "eye," smell "map," say "ness."

(I am a penis!) HA HA!

It was a blast to visit the Twin Towers on 9/11 at exactly 8:46 a.m. It was the bomb... like, literally!

What's the name of a crazy crap that wins everything? Winnie da Pooh.

It's been an hour since I crashed the tower.

Dude, Mississippi got a better K/D ratio than you.

Elderly man: Can I get a discount, please? I fought in World War 2.

Cashier: Sure!

Elderly man: Danke.

I would tell a Biden joke except everyone would not stop falling asleep (including him).

What's the difference between a gamer and dog poop?

Dog poop touches grass.

What do both a hooker and a customer have in common? They come onto each other.

A boy walks up to a girl and says, "I would tell you a joke about my dick, but it’s too long."

Then the girl says, "Yeah, I would tell you a joke about my pussy, but you’ll never get it."

Why do orphans not like 1st-5th grade teachers?

Because they have a home room.

My 1 year old nephew had a stroke. I know, sounds bad... but he would have needed to learn how to speak and walk anyways.

How do you tell the difference between a girl spaghetti and a boy spaghetti?

Meatballs.

Just ask for a hotspot on September 9, 2001, you'll know.