Aed jokes
It is interesting how different nations have their dogs make different sounds.
An American dog goes Woof, a Czech dog goes Haf, a Dutch dog goes Blaf, and a Chinese dog goes Sizzle.
Abortion is a difficult topic for me.
On one hand I support it because it kills children.
On the other hand, it gives women a choice.
What do you call lesbian twins?
Lick-A-Likes.
What do you call a white person having a seizure?
A saltshaker.
Be careful, everybody, I have a red dot on my forehead, so I can record everybody!
Why isn’t the word “orphan” spelled with an “f” instead of “ph?” Because that “f” stands for “family,” and the word “orphan” doesn’t have a family.
What's the difference between the Twin Towers and an emo bitch?
The Twin Towers hit the ground.
What's the difference between Jedi and a rapist?
Nothing, they both use the Force to get what they want.
My friend Liam has a hairline [if you can even call it a hairline] so bad it keeps going back for miles.
What do you get when you cross breed a bear with a retarded person?
A feminist (a hairy and brainless beast).
I had a cake for my gender reveal party. I cut it, and the inside was yellow...
It's been known that Michael Jackson decided to do a song for the soundtrack for Free Willy, because he thought that he would get free willy in exchange for composing a song.
There was a kid crying. I asked him where his parents were. He cried more. I love working at an orphanage.
My boss said she would've loved to meet Bill Cosby as a child. I don't get why I'm getting arrested. I was just making sure his dream came true.
My aim is cursed; one of my Angry Birds hit a field.
Mom: Can I tell you a joke?
Kid: Sure.
Mom: Knock knock.
Kid: Who's there?
Mom: Not yo.
Kid: Not yo who?
Mom: Not yo father.
Kid: Not yo husband either.
How does a priest purify water?
Boil the hell out of it!
Recently I visited a restaurant in Crotone. When I was done eating, I told the waitress I was “Penaldo” with my food. She instantly knew that I was finished with my food.
If I don't find a reason to live soon, my ceiling fan isn't the only thing that's gonna be hanging from my ceiling.
Michael Jackson's nose is so steep, it can be a ski ramp.