Aed jokes

Q: What did the skeleton say when he proposed to his girlfriend?

A: Will you marrow me?

I got my little girl a hand sewing kit for her birthday and she cried. I didn't understand why until I realized that she had no hands to sew with.

What's the difference between a baby and a mansion?

I've never seen the inside of a mansion.

Why does an orphan play GTA to be wanted? 😂😭

Roses are red, Violets are blue, You a dumb a** b*tch, We all know it's true.

"Suicide is a murder, and my body should go to jail."

I work with animals!

What do you do?

I’m a butcher.

Why can orphans not grow big and strong? Because they need a parent to buy them steroids.

If you put a million monkeys at a million keyboards, one of them will eventually write a Java program.

The rest of them will write Perl programs.

What did the man say to the woman? "Make me a sandwich."

Why did the cat meow?

Because it's a cat, and they meow.

Do you have a shovel in your back pocket?

Why?

'Cause I’m digging that ass.

What do you call a man with a curly toe?

Carlito.

How are a bald eagle and a bald man similar?

Because they both have eyes.

So I was on a Discord call the other day, and one of my friends, an American buddy, joined, and we had a conversation.

Until they said: "When did pounds change to quid?"

And I said: "They're the exact same thing."

Then they said: "But when did it happen?"

So I said: "When did school change to shooting range?"

It is interesting how different nations have their dogs make different sounds.

An American dog goes Woof, a Czech dog goes Haf, a Dutch dog goes Blaf, and a Chinese dog goes Sizzle.

What do you call a winter time contact?

A Santa Claus.

Recently I visited a restaurant in Crotone. When I was done eating, I told the waitress I was “Penaldo” with my food. She instantly knew that I was finished with my food.

So little Susie came home and said, "Mom, little Johnny showed me his pecker."

And her mom said, "WHAT?!"

And little Susie was like, "Yeah, it reminded me of a peanut." Her mom said, "Oh, because it was so small?"

Susie said, "No, because it tasted salty."

If I don't find a reason to live soon, my ceiling fan isn't the only thing that's gonna be hanging from my ceiling.