Aed jokes
I was in the car, and I got out and saw a deer walking sexy, and I'm like, "What the..."
A man walks into an AA meeting and asks for a roadmap.
My dad died on 9/11. He was a great pilot.
Q: What do you call a religious Wookie?
A: Jewbacca.
Bitch wanna make me a sandwich?
A guy who just got robbed says, "I've been hacked, and the hacker ransomware!"
Two fish were swimming in a stream when it began to rain. "Quick, let's swim under that bridge, otherwise we will get wet!"
What do you call a blank piece of paper?
Women's rights.
Yo mama so fat when she asked for a bathtub, they put a blanket over an ocean!
1) What was Techno's reaction when he died?
2) Where did all the orphans go?
PS: In case you don't get it, it's a pedophile joke, cuz he is one!
Girl playing outside: "Step on a line and you break your mommy's spine." She then steps on a line and her mother keels over screaming.
Girl playing outside: "Step on a crack and you break daddy's back." She steps on a crack the mailman next door then keels over screaming.
The husband starts celebrating, gets in the car, and starts to drive away.
The son comes outside and steps on a crack.
The dad then dies in a car crash.
Little Johnny’s father walks into the bathroom and catches him masturbating. He says, “Son, every time you do that, you kill an innocent baby.”
The next day, his father walks into the bathroom and catches him again. Johnny says, “Bow your head, Dad. Can’t you see we’re having a funeral?”
I went to a sleepover at my best friend's house. He lives with his grandpa and little brother, his mom and dad. His little brother likes to run around the house naked sometimes. I can't help but notice his grandpa always looks up when he does.
I bought an anti-bullying wristband. I say I bought it; I stole it off a fat ginger kid.
Jump in the Cadillac. (Girl, let's put some miles on it.) Anything you want. (Just to put a smile on it.) You deserve it, baby, you deserve it all, And I'm gonna give it to you. Gold jewelry shining so bright, Strawberry champagne on ice, Lucky for you, that's what I like, that's what I like. Lucky for you, that's what I like, that's what I like.
-Tommyinnit
It's just been discovered that as well as writing a book, Adolf Hitler also wrote one of the first computer games, "Mein Kraft."
The man was dangling by a string!
I was jealous the day he died.
A boy walks into some woods with a phone, and his friend comes by and asks, "What are you doing?"
He pauses, then says, "Trying some bird calls!"
Your forehead is so big and shiny it looks like a solar field.
I asked what LGBTQ stands for, and I couldn’t get a straight answer.