Aed jokes
A man robs a bank and asks a woman, "Did you see that?"
She says, "Yes." So the man shoots her.
He leaves the bank and sees a couple. He asks, "Did you see that?" The husband said, "No, but my wife did!"
What would happen if a dam broke when you are on it?
You would be dam unlucky.
Why do fathers take an extra pair of socks when they go golfing?
In case they get a hole in one!
A person could build a playground with your mood swings.
How do you help a starving cannibal?
You give him a hand!
What’s the definition of “perfect pitch?”
Throwing a viola into the dumpster without hitting the rim.
I watch my parents sleep with a knife in my hands. Only got caught once.
What you call suicide, I call a failed speedrun attempt.
A game that all orphans hate,
"Who's your Daddy?"
Why does a straight guy act gay? Because he wants to feel wanted and wants to be BFFs with the hottest girls.
A kid went and got a haircut. The day after, he went to school, and a friend says, "I like your cut." He replies, "Which one?"
Why did the orphan fall out of a tree?
They thought their parents would catch them.
What's the difference between a pig and a police officer?
The pig smells better.
What do you call a gay man with a thicc ass?
Fruit cake.
What do you call an orphan in a room full of mirrors? Surrounded by loved ones.
Q: Why can't orphans ever win at Yahtzee?
A: Because they can never seem to get a full house.
Presidents are normal, physically.
Biden: Trips over a f***ing stair.
Imagine someone leaving a cut-out of Jeff Bezos on your car after you found out your blind bf cheated on you, and the McDonald's employee says over the speaker, "Weren't expecting him to see other hoes were you?"
What is the worst animal to play cards with? A cheater.
An orphan asked if they could move into my house yesterday. I said, "Don't you have a family?"