Aed jokes
Get a head in life by decapitating someone.
What kind of animal falls from the sky?
Answer: A raindeer.
Okay, I'm going to be sharing a story that I never shared before... Look in the chat to see the whole story.
What do you get if you cross a gorilla and a prisoner? A kong-vict.
What's something a depressed person can do that a regular person can't?
The depressed person can scan themself.
Man 1: Hey, I heard you survived a school shooting. What was it like?
Man 2: People were screaming and running everywhere. I was only able to get a few of them.
"My dick fell off in the shower!" suddenly a bright flash of white lights. You see God smiling at you. "Joseph, where is your wiener, little one?" He says, chuckling lightly.
What do you get when you throw holy water on a cow?
A holy cow!
A farm full of cows were bombed, and only two survived. All of the udders died.
George Floyd was in a TV show, Fresh Prince, with no air.
Edward Scissorhands: Why is it that every time I touch someone, they get offended?
Kids: Because you're a psycho path.
I saw a tree. I looked up, and there was an apple hanging. And then I said, "Wow, that guy is lucky!"
An orphanage is like a horse rescue. You rescue them, rehabilitate them, then sell them for as much as possible.
What’s the name of the band in the gay bar?
A: Beers for Queers.
Are you a bullet? 'Cause you're stuck in my head.
Q: What is a Karen called in Europe?
A: An American.
I go to get my mail.
Stranger: "Something fell out of your pocket! April fools!"
Me: "You're adopted, April fools!"
Then I see an orphan behind me and gets all excited.
What does a lawyer defending a killer and a password have in common? They're case sensitive.
So, one day a teacher asked, "How many of you have thought of committing suicide?" Half of the class raised their hand, but the teacher said, "Where are Jesse and John?"
Where does a French cat live?
- In Purr-is
OR
- In the Catacombs
OR
- In a chat-eau.