Aed jokes
During the election campaign of 2012, we heard about Obama, but we thought they said Osama. So I told my friend, "Grab his gun and let's have some fun." So during one of Obama's campaigns, we both shot him to death, which lasted a while.
Then my friend said, "Let's go get piss drunk at Mavericks bar." Then on TV they talked about Obama's death, and everybody but 2 guys cheered. Then guess what, we loaded our guns and lit those 2 guys up like we did to Obama.
Don't tell me I haven't got balls. I just happen to wear mine on my chest, and I can guarantee they're a lot bigger than yours!
This guy came into my library a year ago and borrowed a book named "How to Commit Suicide." He never returned it.
How do you enter your house?
Through Bill Gates!
Yo mama is so hairy that she uses a lawn mower to shave.
Ok, @loserispro This simple action took me a while to perform, what do you think?
Johnny and Jill went up the hill to lick Jill's yummy candy.
But Johnny got a SHOCK With a mouthful of COCK Because Jill's REAL NAME?
Was Randy. 👹
The Israeli government is the biggest joke of all.
Why are you guys making fun of priests?
Because you have a suga daddy already.
What is the difference between an orphan and a mailman?
The mailman goes home at the end of the day.
POV: You're at school and you just enjoy your day.
Now once you found a bully and he said, "I will burn you in fire," then you just punched him out of the school and got detention. You escaped and walked home, but the bully came and ROASTED you. He threw you in the garbage, but you took off his clothes and even his underwear. You escape the bin and took a shower and had a good day after.
If you tell me to get a life, you're telling me to get a life better than yours!
What’s the difference between your sister and a bowling ball?
I can only get 3 fingers in a bowling ball!
I'll give you an A because you're awesome.
B because you're beautiful.
A C because you're caring.
And I'll give you this D cuz you deserve it.
How do you get chewing gum out of a child's hair? Cancer.
Stephen Hawking was a bit of a hardcase. He didn't let people push him around.
Face-Timing My Girlfriend:
"Hey girl! Are you a veterinarian? Because these puppies are sick!" *shows muscle*
Your hairline looks like something that came off the bottom of a Reese's cup.
How do you start a dance party?
Go into the PTSD ward of an insane asylum and set off fireworks and watch the magic unfold.
What skeleton does Crap-ton of?
A "bone".
Uranus craps diamonds and is a cow 🐮.