Aed jokes
If a wizard gets robbed by a muggle, has he been muggled?
You want a joke? My entire existence.
What do people that can only use half their face and wankers have in common?
They have both had a few strokes.
What's the difference between a blonde and the Panama Canal?
One's a busy ditch.
I once made a belt out of clocks.
It was a waist of time.
Q: Why can't a blonde call 911?
A: Because she can't find the 11.
They say I’m sliced like the apples in a kids meal.
What did the kids say hi to? A slide.
What do you call a dog with no legs?
It don't matter what you call it, 'cause it ain't gonna come to you.
What do you call an obnoxiously loud fog horn? A beginner saxophonist.
Q) What do trees call deforestation?
A) TREASON!
Why would a dead guy lie?
Because he can't stand up.
What did the shoe say to the other shoe?
Nothing, it was tied up in another conversation.
We all know Albert Einstein was a genius, but his brother Frank was a monster.
What do you call a Russian pharmacist?
"Ivan Astichestykov."
Why does it take so long for the pirates to learn the alphabet?
Because they spend years on C! Pirate: A, B, sea?
Get a head in life by decapitating someone.
My grandad broke his legs.
To cheer him up, I bought him a Walkman.
How do you keep a moron in suspense?
I'll tell you tomorrow!
My friend wasn't open to the idea of me becoming a nudist.
I told him to stop being so clothes-minded.