Aed jokes
I left Twitter for a while, and when I tried to log back in, I found out I was suspended. I realized it was a penalty for saying some prohibited words on Twitter.
Sadly, my idol Pristiano Penaldo took the penalty for me and he missed, and now I'm on my alt. Shame on you, Penaldo!
1, 2, 3, A, B, C, D, and there's a D in it and there's also a 3. That's how long your D is!
Roses are red, violets are blue, I have no balls, neither will you. 🔪🔪
Do you want to hear a dark joke? Let me turn the lights off.
You're so skinny that a Wi-Fi signal is stronger.
Why is Helen Keller's snatch always sore?
She wipes with a Brillo pad.
What do you call a son of Gilgamesh that hates flashy lights? The epileptic of Gilgamesh.
I heard you were looking for a stud. I have the STD, and all I need is U.
Why do you put a baby in a blender feet first? So you can see the look on its face as you climax.
Finding one of her students making faces at others on the playground, Ms. Smith stopped to gently reprimand the child. Smiling sweetly, the Sunday school teacher said, “Johnny, when I was a little girl, I was told if I made ugly faces, it would freeze and I would stay like that.”
Little Johnny looked up and replied, “Well, Ms Smith, you can’t say you weren’t warned!”
What do you call a Chinese boxer?
U lamb chow.
How do you know when a cabbage is boiled?
The wheelchair floats to the top.
Last week I felt so high and mighty I thought I could fly. I took one shot, puffed through my pipe, and jumped in the air on a trampoline. I woke up in heaven.
I asked an angel, "How did I die?"
"Well, little monkey, you thought your bed was a trampoline and you hit your head. Your mom called the doctor, and the doctor said you were dead."
How do you keep a bull from charging?
You take its credit card away.
Me: Hi, my name is...
Bro: Hey guys! So who are you?
Me: Hey, stop dude!
Bro: How is it going, bro--
Me: SHUT UP!
Bro: Is that a gun?
Me: *Pointing at bro*
Bro: Dude, I'm...
Me: *BANG* *BANG*
Me: Finally, it's over.
Max's joke is literally a joke.
How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
5
4 to turn the table, and 1 to hold the bulb.
The flower made a phone call and became cauliflower.
You can sink the Titanic like you can drive a bike. Not a joke.
Win a free ride in a police car! Just pick up a knife and use it!