Aed jokes
A guy tried to suffocate himself with his BMW exhaust, but his engine failed.
This is the first time German engineering fails to gas someone.
How do you turn a Chinese person into an American? Put a bag of ice on their eyes.
What part of "Another One Bites the Dust" do you sing to a disabled person to make fun of them? "I'm standing on my own two feet."
Do you mix concrete for a living? Because you’re making me hard.
What's a footlong and slippery?
A slipper.
Sad but true
I used to date a girl with a lazy eye. Turns out she was seeing someone else the whole time.
What do you call a toy that has a story?
Toy Story.
What's a foot fetishist's favorite food? Hot dogs.
You guys are better than a triple-scoop ice cream cone... with sprinkles!
Someone should start a vaping company with the slogan: "Vapes that hit harder than your dad." Sales would skyrocket.
What does a zebra and I have in common?
We both have stripes.
We should give whoever killed Hitler a statue. Oh wait, never mind.
I chucked a lamp and a depressed kid, hoping it would brighten up his day.
Fun Fact: Did you know JFK's brain was so big it covered a whole entire limousine?
My disabled friend rolled into a burning orphanage and saved lots of kids. When he came out, the kids tried to play with him because his wheels were on fire. They called him Hot Wheels.
You want a joke? My entire existence.
Your face is a joke.
What did the man say when he swallowed a clock and tried to go to the bathroom?
WATCH OUT!!!
What do people that can only use half their face and wankers have in common?
They have both had a few strokes.
The shovel was a groundbreaking invention.