Aed jokes
In fields of gold, where sunshine beams, Monkeys swing and play, it's their dreams. Their fur so soft, their eyes so bright, Picking cotton with delight.
Their little hands so quick and neat, Plucking the cotton, can't be beat. They chatter and laugh, they dance and play, In the fields all day, they'll stay.
Their tails so long, their ears so big, They're quite the sight, it's quite a gig. They're busy as can be, you see, In the fields of cotton, they're free.
So let us marvel at these little thieves, In the fields of gold, they give and receive. Their antics bring us joy and delight, In the fields of cotton, they're always right.
Why don't booties make good drummers?
They can't keep a beat without making a FART NOISE.
A kid came to the orphanage with a dead fish. She was crying.
Why was the kid crying in the orphanage? Because someone came for the fish.
Once a cheetah, always a cheetah.
Q: What's a ship's least favorite food? A: Iceburg-ers
I guess age is just a number, but in your boyfriend's case, a personal preference.
Stop it! What if a blind person sa- oh wait, never mind, carry on.
This guy walked into a pizzeria and ordered a water. The owner called him an idiot.
His girlfriend walked in and ordered a pineapple pizza.
The guy left her, and the owner made her leave.
What has legs but can't walk?
A veteran.
How are women like swimming pools?
They cost a great deal of money to maintain considering the time you spend inside.
Why do pedophiles never cum first?
Because they like to cum in a little behind.
What do a small pair of underpants and a small dance room have in common?
No ballroom.
The warden is stronger than the ender dragon, but WHY IS IT NOT A BOSS?
(Doesn't have boss bar.)
Why can't your nose be twelve inches?
Because then it would be a foot.
Make sense of what I am saying, This is a LIE—and that's the TRUTH.
What am I?
Answer: a Riddle.
If I had a dollar for every time you said something smart, I'd be broke.
My friend group is pretty diverse. I'm Japanese, one friend is Filipino, one is American, one is Italian, and the last one is German.
Out of everyone in the friend group, the Filipino and the American were the quickest to feel uncomfortable when I asked, "Who wants to go on a march with me?"
Jack and Jill went up the hill so Jack could lick her candy, but Jack had a shock and a mouth full of cock, and Jill's real name was Randy.
Q: How do you make a door cry?
A: Twist its knob.
What's a popular name in China? Curiosity, because curiosity killed the cat.