Aed jokes
What did the kids say hi to? A slide.
What do you call a dog with no legs?
It don't matter what you call it, 'cause it ain't gonna come to you.
Employer: Can you perform under pressure?
Me: No, but I do a pretty good "Bohemian Rhapsody."
Where does the resistor go after a long day?
It goes Ohm.
Zozo the hobo is single like a Pringle.
Single like a Pringle, and he loves Pringle's, get it?
What do you call an obnoxiously loud fog horn? A beginner saxophonist.
If a wizard gets robbed by a muggle, has he been muggled?
One day I threw a boomerang...
Now I live in constant fear.
"Disease" technically means "lack of ease," so if a girl is hard to get, call her a disease.
That's what Elliot Rodger did.
Your momma's so fat, when I went to suck her titties, I got a mouth full of knee.
I went to self-checkout at a store and I scanned my products, but the scanner wouldn't scan the barcode on my arm.
What do you call a group of sped kids with AK-47s?
Special forces.
Yo mama is so ugly that when she went through a face ID, it didn't think she was human.
Joe Mama so fat, she brought a spoon to the Super Bowl!
Little Johnny sits on a chair. He notices he is sitting on something. Then he sees a plastic di**. He asks his mom, "What's that?" and Mom didn't know, so when his dad comes home from work, he sees him with the plastic di** and says, "Son, why you messing with my personal toy?"
God sent a kid to the principal's office for giving a blind kid sunglasses and said, "Don't let the sun damage your eyes!"
Two friends were walking in a forest. They started to fight.
A cannibal came and shouted, "Food fight!"
A homeless kid walked up to another kid and said, "I have what you don't." He said, "(Parents)."
And the kid said, "Your right, I do have parents," and walked away.
Popular guy in class: I am so funny.
Me: Your parents are funny as they made a joke and people are still laughing at it.
She said you can twerk, so I put her in a tractor and put her to work. She got mad at me and said, "There's no good men," but I gave her a kob and equal pay!