Aed jokes
What do you call a potato with a pp?
A dictator.
What do you call a taco in bed?
Es(tá co)stado.
What's the difference between a yellow line and a baby?
You can't run over a yellow line.
I noticed my friend's hairline yesterday. I could tell it was a Supercuts hair salon haircut, so how I could tell was 'cuz it was super alright, super lame.
An autistic man walks into a bra.
Your mother is such a slut, she should be in the NFL hall of fame for the greatest wide receiver!
I got my sister a book and she cried there, but I forgot she was blind.
What's a person with Down syndrome's favorite detergent?
Downy.
"I'm sorry," the doctor says, "you have a rare and very contagious disease. We must quarantine you, and you'll only be fed cheese and bologna."
"Will that cure me?" the patient asks.
"Well, no," the doctor replies, "but it's the only food that will fit under the door."
What is 14 inches long and starts with D?
A Dookie From GREEN DAY
A midget walks into a bar and asks for a beer. The bartender says no.
The midget asks why. The bartender says, "You're a little drunk!"
A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."
I'm starting a clown shoe store.
It's no small feat! :oD
1. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
2. Why did the melon jump into the lake? It wanted to be a water-melon.
3. What did the duck say when it bought lipstick? “Put it on my bill.”
4. What do you call a pig that does karate? A pork chop.
5. What has a bed that you can’t sleep in? A river.
6. Why were the teacher’s eyes crossed? She couldn’t control her pupils.
7. What starts with E, ends with E, and has only 1 letter in it? An Envelope.
8. How does the ocean say hello? It waves.
9. What lights up a soccer stadium? A soccer match.
10. What creature is smarter than a talking parrot? A spelling bee.
11. Which U.S. state has the smallest soft drinks? Minnesota (as in, “mini-soda”).
12. Why couldn’t the leopard play hide and seek? Because he was always spotted.
13. Apparently, you can’t use “beef stew” as a password. It’s not stroganoff.
14. Why did the drum take a nap? It was beat.
15. Where do hamburgers go dancing? They go to the meat-ball.
16. Why did the tomato turn red? It saw the salad dressing.
17. Why shouldn’t you write with a broken pencil? Because it’s pointless.
What does a white person say when they're surrounded by black guys? "Hey, who turned the lights out?!"
What’s the worst thing about having a daughter with cancer?
You can’t pull on her hair when you’re raping her.
Why is Afghanistan good at chess? They take the rooks out fast.
What is the biggest fear of an American soldier taking a piss in a bush during the Vietnam war? His manhood will be chopped off.
Bro, you ever think while driving the moped why they call it a footrest when the foot never lets it rest? The foot is working harder than the engine. You push, push, but still go the same speed like a turtle with a bad mood during a rabbit race...
What is another name for a serial rapist? Short dress enthusiast.
What was Frankenstein's second job? -- He was a bodybuilder.