Aed jokes
I ordered a pizza with everything on it, but I got a plain pizza.
How do I fix a broken light bulb? I don't. I simply blow up the house.
Which one would be better to fuck, a fat bitch or a skinny bitch?
School Rizz:
You are my exam. I am always thinking about you but never making a move.
My friend Josh made a joke about Liam's hairline, even though his ears are so big and his face looks like a monkey... if they were white.
Yo mama so fat that the US (Mexico) and North Korea (South Korea) got into a war fighting over who gets to use her as their border wall.
If a bike is also called a bicycle, then what is a test also called?
A tEsTiClE!
I wrote an essay today about Africa, and I FAILED even though I wrote a perfect rendition of the Hunger Games storyline.
My girlfriend just broke up with me because I held a door for another girl. She said I was cheating, but the girl I helped was in a wheelchair.
Yo mama so fat, when she made a joke, only one person laughed at it: the pavement. It was absolutely cracking up!
Where's the best place to hide a body? In the second page of Google search results.
A police officer came up to me and said, "Just why, why would you bring the epileptic children to a laser tag fight?"
How do you anger a white Christian nationalist?
Tell him the truth.
I was on the train today and saw a cow on it.
It was quite strange until I realized it was Alfie's mum.
What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball?
A Juan on Juan.
Would you watch a tree grow? Or a knee grow?
Look, Bono is a great guy, but shopping with him is a pain, because he still hasn't found what he is looking for.
Are you a mental hospital? Cause I need to be in you.
Yesterday, there was a blackout on my street.
So I sold them.
I was in the corner shop to buy some lottery tickets, and the Indian woman was sporting a red dot on her forehead. I scratched it off and won a fucking Ford Focus!