Aed jokes

What does Joe Biden call a room full of kids? A toy room.

You're so ugly that even the World Trade Center got a better transformation than you.

I’m not a hard drinker. I actually find it pretty easy.

What does a depressed person and a chicken have in common? They both try to fly.

"It's not a war crime if you win the war."

- Sun Tzu, The Art of War

Kid: *runs down the street* HELP ME!

Officer: You OK, kid?

Me: Don't worry! He's my nephew, there was a big spider.

Officer: Oh, OK, ma'am. *walks off*

When officer leaves:

Me: *gets whip* What did I say about leaving the basement?

I don't need a punchline. Karens are the only joke I need.

Walk up to an emo and say, "I like your cuts G."

Draco Malfoy had a wand fight in the bathroom.

A teenager went into a creepy house with his 3 friends. Only 2 came out. Where are the others?

(Getting brutally murdered.)

Mom asks, "Who are you talking to?"

The child said, "A mistake."

Why didn't the boy like his Christmas presents? Hint: They were a soccer ball, bicycle, and running shoes.

What's the difference between an orphan and a baseball player?

The baseball player knows where home base is.

Why can't orphans ride a bike?

'Cause their parents won't follow them.

What do you get if you cross an avocado and a Glock?

Glockamole.

Two boys were at a lake, and they went to a bush and saw a naked lady.

One ran away, the other one followed the one who ran and asked why he ran. The boy answered, "My mum told me if I saw a naked lady I would turn to stone. I ran away because I felt something get hard."

I wanted to open a brothel in the monastery, but the slogan: "Fist some Christs" was, unfortunately, not so well received.

What do you call a bunch of retarded preschoolers? Tater tots.

Found this girl in Hawaii.

Put a stick up her ass and she said, "Ayi."

I watched a documentary called "Redline Carrera: Birth of the Memes." It all started with Paul Walker.