self-checkout jokes

What happened when the emo went through the self-checkout?

Two beeps went off.

Me: tries to scan self at Walmart. I can't scan myself, wanna know why?

Alfred: Why?

Me: because I'm worthless... =)

Why don’t emo girls go to self checkout?

Because every time they scan, it scans twice.

My ex-boyfriend tried to scan himself at the supermarket checkout for fun.

“See how I can’t scan myself? It’s because I’m priceless.”

I decided I’d scan my wrist too, just for fun.

Found out I’m worth $3.97.

I was joking about self-harm to my friend, and she told me to "CUT it out!" I couldn't even laugh.

When we were at the self-checkout, she started scanning my arms. I asked her what she was doing. She said, "Trying to see if it beeps, ya think I'd get it to work if I scanned your thighs?"

I said, "Nah, bro, you'd overload the system if you put it there."

I’m a cashier at a grocery store, and when I’m bored, I draw on my hands with a pen. Well, this guy walks up to me and says, “You know, I got mental illnesses from drawing on myself.”

And so, without thinking, I said, “Well, I’ve already got those, so I think I’m fine...” 😳 He looked concerned. Oops lol.

I went to self-checkout at a store and I scanned my products, but the scanner wouldn't scan the barcode on my arm.

Taking an emo kid grocery shopping does have its perks... You get to scan their wrists for discounts!

I know I'm valuable, I come with a barcode ;)

What do me and Monster cans have in common? A barcode.

What's the benefit of taking a depressed kid to the store?

Scan the wrist and you might get a discount.

If I went to Walmart, I would be able to scan my own wrists because they're barcodes too.