Aed jokes
Hi, everyone. Serious question. Would it be illegal to decapitate a worm? Asking for a friend, he's so worried we're going to jail. I'm not. I'm fine. Please reply fast.
Where would a snowman go on his days off of work?
Snowhere.
What do you call an arrow pointing the wrong way?
A Disap point ment.
Q: What will we give to a sick lemon?
A: Lemon aid.
Did you know there was a record for the quickest time to finish a story? The day it was set was 9/11. 99 stories in .4 seconds.
A child is determined to burn his home down. His dad watched, tears in his eyes. He put his arm across the mother and stated, “That’s arson.”
I'm a gay depressed person. Would that make me a happy unhappy person?
Call me a bad economy with high interest rates and low spending, 'cause I'm in a great depression.
A French Sans would greet you with the "o bone-jour".
What fits neatly into a hole, slides nicely between breasts, and if used wrong could choke someone? A seatbelt.
I like my women the way I like my sandwiches... A little meat between their buns.
What's the difference between the righteous and a sinner?
You decide.
Teacher: "Ok class, what animal jumps the highest?"
Kid: "A leopard."
Quiet kid: "No, it's emo kids. Some of them are still in the air."
Kid: "Broooooooooooo."
I donated a computer to the orphanage...
It didn’t have a motherboard.
Me: I have depression.
Someone: You should get out more! Go outside!
Me: *goes to the beach* Now it's a tropical depression.
What did they find in Jeffery Dahmer's apartment?
Jack in a box.
What do you call a dinosaur that loves sucking dino dick?
Sucks-alota-cocka-sorass.
What do you call a woman who aborted her quadruplets? A graveyard.
When you're going 80 km in a school zone and one of the speed bumps screams.
"Have a nice day" and "enjoy the next 24 hours" mean the same thing, but one sounds like a threat.