Aed jokes
Where would an astronaut park his spaceship? A parking meteor.
What does an orphan and a banana have in common? They both get split up.
A person asks a taxidermist what they do for a living. The taxidermist replies, "Oh, you know, stuff."
I got a reversible jacket for Christmas, I can't wait to see how it turns out.
"Doctor, Doctor, I feel like a pair of curtains!" "What's wrong with me!" "Calm down, calm down. Just pull yourself together!"
If you eat a clock, then does that mean you’ve consumed time?
People at my school have started to wear Logan Paul merch. I try to give them a high five, but they always leave me hanging.
What is a panda's favorite cooking implement?
A pan-duh.
What's brown and sounds like a bell?
Dung.
A man walks into his house, only to find out somebody stole all of his lamps. He was absolutely delighted.
A woman is in the hospital giving birth. The doctor comes up to her afterwards.
Dr: "I'm sorry, I have good news and bad news."
Woman: "What's the bad news?"
Dr: "Your baby is Ginger!"
Woman: "Ok, so what's the good news?"
Dr: "It's dead!"
What do you call an arrow pointing the wrong way?
A Disap point ment.
What do you call a ghost bee?
Boobees.
I believe a lot of conflict in the Wild West could have been avoided completely if cowboy architects had just made their towns big enough for everyone...
Q. What's the difference between an assassinated Healthcare CEO and Old Yeller?
A. I cried when they shot Old Yeller.
What do you call a fat transgender midget?
Jigglypuff.
If your daily is a Chevy, then your mom is super heavy.
What do pretzels and a corrupt government have in common?
They are both twisted.
What kind of man would be a lesbian's best friend? A decimen.
Teacher: Hey Timmy (the quiet kid), what comes after X?
The quiet kid: Splosion.
Teacher: What comes after A?
The quiet kid: AK-47.
Teacher: Faints.