Aed jokes

What did the Tin Man say when he got run over by a steamroller? -- "Curses! Foil again!"

What do you call a black person in a dark room?

Invisible.

1 like = 1 more missile aimed at a hospital.

A brunette fought and didn't get raped.

A blonde thought and did get raped.

Q: How do you make a door cry?

A: Twist its knob.

Why can't you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom?

Because the "p" is silent.

Let’s say there’s a person who should have never come to exist. How would you find them?

A: Look in a mirror.

I was asking people who knew Trump if he would win a second term. Stormy said, "No way, he doesn't have two in him!"

Are you a wild girl, cause I want to catch you with my pokeballs?

"I'm sorry" and "I apologize" mean the same thing. Except at a funeral.

What is a paedophile's favorite thing about Halloween?

Free delivery XD

What's the difference between my wife and a battery? I can't use a battery when it dies.

What is red and very rare?

A child in a blender.

Can we stop talking about 9/11? I lost my dad in it.

He was a great pilot.

Reporter: "Excuse me, may I interview you?"

Man: "Yes!"

Reporter: "Name?"

Man: "Abdul Al-Rhazim."

Reporter: "Sex?"

Man: "Three to five times a week."

Reporter: "No no! I mean male or female?"

Man: "Yes, male, female... sometimes camel."

Reporter: "Holy cow!"

Man: "Yes, cow, sheep... animals in general."

Reporter: "But isn't that hostile?"

Man: "Yes, horse style, dog style, any style."

Reporter: "Oh dear!"

Man: "No, no deer. Deer run too fast. Hard to catch."

My mother was suffering from menstrual pain. So I fucked her for 7 hours to ease her pain. I continued to do so for the next 6 days. Even after fucking her 51 times during her 7-day period, I fucked her 5-6 times a day for the next three months and stopped her period for 9 months! Only her son can understand and ease the pain of a mother.

A man asked for poison and another man gave it to him. The first man took a sip and said, "hmmm, this tastes like arsenic." He took a sip of another and said, "hmmm, this tastes like cyanide. A very unpleasant taste that brings back memories."

So my sister was eating Now&Laters, and I continuously heard smacking sounds. So I told her, "Can you stop smacking? It's annoying." Then she said, "I can't, it's a juicy type of candy." So I said, "I can stop the candies from making that sound." Then she said, "How?" So I smacked her. :)

What did the dentist say when he looks into a patient's mouth?

"I C D K"

You know what I see?

DICK

I hope you get raped by a chimp in the forest