Aed jokes
A collection of 911 jokes.
What kinda pizza did they order at 911?
Plane.
What was the color of 911?
Plane.
What is the fastest way to see 911?
Plane.
Do you know what's the difference between a knife and a girl's argument?
A knife has a point.
There was a magician on board the Titanic and said that he could make anything disappear.
Once the ship had gone down one of the passengers said to him, "Go on, so what did you do with the ship then?"
I wouldn't call a Suicide Help-line even if my life depended on it.
How come I have a father but not a dad?
He was a priest.
What does a cigarette and a hamster have in common?
Both are completely harmless until you put it in your mouth and light it on fire.
Do you know how to make 4 Albanians stand on a shoebox?
Just tell them that it floats.
What's a prisoner's favorite game?
Hangman!
Friend: Wanna hear a joke?
Other Friend: Sure.
Friend: Pussy.
Other Friend: I don't get it.
Friend: And you never will.
Can you make me a bowl of cereal? Oh wait, your dad never came back with the milk.
What do you call a Chinese rich man? Cha-ching!
Don't make fun of fat people. They already have a lot on their plate.
What can you give a white person that you can't give to a black person?
A black eye.
Your birth certificate is a complaint to the condom factory.
Yo mama is so stupid, because when she gave birth to you, she asked for a receipt!
What do you call a heterosexual man performing fellatio on another heterosexual man?
Bisexual.
Can you drive a pizza? Of course, as long as you change the olive oil.
When an asteroid is coming to kill us all:
98.9% of the population: OMG, we're all gonna die!
1% of the population: Eh... I never had any friends anyway.
Alia: ROLL THE INTRO!
When you're sitting in class and the quiet kid yells, "Lovely day, isn't it?" ... and you see a Glock shape in his pocket.
Why does it take three women with PMS to screw in a lightbulb?
IT JUST DOES!!!!