Aed jokes
"My name is Osama, I lost my jobba, so I became a BOMBA 💣"
Chuck Norris once pissed in the tank of a semi as a joke.
It is now known as Optimus Prime.
Why do orphans love a room of mirrors?\n\nBecause they're surrounded by loved ones!
The way ladies cheat nowadays is very alarming.
She might give birth to twins, but each twin having a different father. 😭
First Date: HE: "I work with animals every day!" SHE: "Oh how sweet! What is it that you do?" HE: "I’m a butcher." SHE: "Perfect! I work with humans, I just kill them by cutting them up!"
HE: "So it's you in the newspaper?" SHE: "Yes, it was, wanna be next?" HE: "No!"
Meme
My girlfriend asked for a kiss, so I gave her my dick.
6 Germans walk into a bar... and only three walk out.
Titanic hit a dimetrodon.
How many children can you fit in a box?
Maybe five if you have a trash compactor.
How is a push-up bra like a bag of chips?
As soon as you open it, you realize it’s half empty.
What’s red and white and black all over?
A dead white man at night time!
Last night I shared a bed with two of my friends because we were in a small hotel. We had strange dreams last night.
My friend on the left dreamed of getting a handjob.
So did my friend on the right.
I had a dream of skiing.
What’s the difference between Jeffrey Dahmer and a priest?
They both like lil' boys.
Why were the tenants of the Twin Towers sad?
They ordered a pepperoni pizza, but they got PLANE.
What is a vampire's favorite animal? A giraffe.
What is a vampire's favorite fruit? Neck-tarines.
Those two jokes are not funny at all!
1. You can't wash your eyes with soap.
2. You can't count your hair.
3. You can't breathe through your nose with your tongue out.
4. You just tried number three.
5. When you tried number 3, you realized it was possible, only you look like a dog.
6. You're smiling right now because you realized you were fooled.
7. You skipped number 5.
8. You just checked if there was a number 5.
9. This is not my joke; all credit goes to Steps.
*gets hit by a car*
Passerby: "ARE YOU OKAY?"
Me: "Please...I need my...phone."
*opens twitter*
Me: "LMFAOOOOOOO YALL GUESS WHAT"
Why is the day you do laundry, cook, clean, iron, and so on called a day off?
Today I feel diving. Today I feel penalty. Today I feel tap in. Today I feel ghosting. Today I feel finished. Today I feel a bench warmer... I know what it feels to be discriminated... I was bullied because I am Pristiano Penaldo.
How do Chinese people name their kids?
They roll a coin down the staircase and it says, "Ching chang chong..."