Aed jokes
Don’t criticize someone until you’ve walked a mile in their shoes.
So, when you criticize them, they won’t be able to hear you from that far away. Plus, you’ll have their shoes.
What do you call a FAT Man under 5'9"?
A JUMBO shrimp.
What does the handicapped man say to the cops when he’s mistaken for a criminal: "Don't shoot, I'm unarmed!"
What do you call a disabled person who gets high?
Baked potato.
Yo, hairline been missing so badly that the police had to put up a wanted poster for it!
BROOO BAHAAHHAHAHAHAAH
I would tell a dad joke, but it already left me.
What do you call a basement full of SJW's?
A whine cellar.
What does an apple and suicidal person have in common?
They're both hanging from a tree.
What is a ghost's favorite cake?
I scream cake!
Q: Why did the cat get arrested?
A: He was caught littering.
Q. What's the most musical bone?
A. The trom-bone!
When his dick is really, really small, but you pretend it is so big it hurts so you don’t make him feel bad 'cause he is a nice guy.
Every zodiac sign has a different hairstyle except Cancer.
Everybody was kung flu dying.
It traveled as fast as lightning.
2020 was expert timing.
In fact, it was a little bit frightening.
Q: How can you tell if a vampire is sick?
A: By how much he's coffin.
What do you call a warrior that's going to bed?
A knight knight.
It is reported that when Churchill met Stalin at Yalta, they discussed their hobbies.
Churchill said: "I collect the jokes people tell me about me."
"That's a coincidence," said Stalin, "I collect the people who tell jokes about me."
What do you call an act of “funny” discipline? A PUN-ishment!
Person A: What do you call the dangly bit of an octopus?
Person B: Tentacles?
Person A: Ok *tickles person B ten times*
What commitment does a pimp make to each new hoe he turns out?
Answer: He will always be there for her after the break-in period.