Aed jokes
What do you do when a woman is choking?
Back up a couple inches.
What is a pedophile's favorite age range?
9-11.
I used to be in a special needs class, and the teacher sent a student (if you want to call them that) out to the hall for being late.
I asked her, "Why did you send James out to the hall?"
She said, "He was a little tardy."
I replied to her, "I thought they all were."
Times are hard at the moment for people on disability benefits. I’ve got a friend who’s a dwarf...
...and he’s struggling to put food on the table.
What do you call a gay Eskimo?
A snow blower.
Sophia matched with a midget on Tinder.
Midget: Hey! What’s up?
Sophia: Well technically everything is, from your perspective!
What’s the difference between your sister and a bowling ball?
I can only get 3 fingers in a bowling ball!
Trying to find a good parking spot is a lot like trying to find a girlfriend.
If you can’t find one, you stick it in the disabled spot and hope nobody finds out.
How do you describe a redhead with bad teeth?
Gingervitus.
Two Indians are walking beside a river...
One reaches down into the mud and runs it through his fingers.
"The White Man was here."
"How can you tell?"
"We're speaking English, aren’t we?"
Why did the autistic ice cream run away from the party?
She had a meltdown.
Roses are red, I'm not a boaster.
Elon must've got rushed to the hospital after impregnating a toaster.
Your ma is so slow, it took her 9 months to make a joke.
Even people who are good for nothing have the capacity to bring a smile to your face, like when I push my autistic brother down the stairs.
Why are people in Japan so thin?
Because it didn't end well the last time a Fat Man was there.
There is an Afghan Barbie; it’s a blow-up doll.
A photon is checking into a hotel.
The bellhop asks him, "Do you have any luggage?"
The photon replies, "Nope, I'm traveling light."
What's the difference between a chickpea and a lentil?
I've never had a lentil on my face.
A child and a child molester walk into a forest together. The child turns to the molester and says, "Boy, these woods are scary." The molester says to the child, "You think you're scared? I have to walk out of here alone."
A guy went to a bar and said to a friend that he found a girl on the railroads and said they had the best sex ever.
His friend asked, "Did you get any head?"
The guy said, "No, I couldn't find it."