Aed jokes
I tried writing with a dull pencil the other day, but there was no point.
What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon?
One screams when you put it in a blender, and the other one is a cooperative little fruit.
I saw this really old guy with the Hitler stache, so I decided to start beating him up.
It was very weird when a camera crew came out with Harrison Ford and started yelling at me.
What is long that Paul Walker can fit into his mouth? A long black tree.
Go drop-kick an orphan. No one will know, not like his parents would know.
Q. What does Kenny get when he hugs his mom?
A. A boner.
What do you call a Sikh man standing on a rope? Balan Singh.
My ex was an orphan as a child.
I should have taken that as the first sign.
If her parents didn't want her, why would I?
What's flat chested and emo? A cutting board.
What is a pirate's favorite element?
Argon.
How many black people does it take to change a lightbulb in the middle of the night?
I don't know, I can never see them.
Your mom is like a penny: two-faced, flat, and always in someone's pants.
Yo mama's so fat, when she skips a meal, the stock market drops.
Why is a gun like a box of chocolates?
If you pull one out in class, everyone wants to be your friend.
Why did the rapist go after the mute? It would be a silent attack.
A guy stole my car last night. Before dialing 911 I thought, "Fuck it. Let him explain the dead bodies in the trunk."
A guy runs into a bar and yells, “Quick! How tall is a penguin?”
The bartender says, “Three feet tall.”
The guy says, “Oh my God! I just ran over a nun!”
Why was JFK stupid? He only had half a brain.
Which sexual position produces the ugliest children?
A. Ask your mother.
Hey, what is the difference between a painting and a wife?
Only the wife was hung up.