Aed jokes
How many black people does it take to change a lightbulb in the middle of the night?
I don't know, I can never see them.
Your mom is like a penny: two-faced, flat, and always in someone's pants.
A guy runs into a bar and yells, “Quick! How tall is a penguin?”
The bartender says, “Three feet tall.”
The guy says, “Oh my God! I just ran over a nun!”
Why did the skunk 🦨 sleep 💤 under a car?
Because he wanted to wake up oily.
Go drop-kick an orphan. No one will know, not like his parents would know.
My ex was an orphan as a child.
I should have taken that as the first sign.
If her parents didn't want her, why would I?
A guy stole my car last night. Before dialing 911 I thought, "Fuck it. Let him explain the dead bodies in the trunk."
What is a pirate's favorite element?
Argon.
Which sexual position produces the ugliest children?
A. Ask your mother.
Why was JFK stupid? He only had half a brain.
Hey, what is the difference between a painting and a wife?
Only the wife was hung up.
What’s a hairdresser’s favorite roast? Flat iron roast.
Why did the computer go to the doctor?
Because it had a virus.
I walked into the party and the host asked me if I would like a slice of pie.
I responded "yes," and he said: "okay, 14159."
Where do fish keep their money?
In a riverbank!
If there is a divorce in West Virginia, are they still brother and sister?
A girl named Sally has no arms.
"KNOCK KNOCK"
She never answered...
What body part do pigs have that humans don’t have?
A hambone.
The time when Michael Jackson came in his pajamas during the trial. Whether or not it was because he saw a 7-year-old boy has yet to be determined.
How do you make a builder cry?
Kill his family.