Aed jokes
What kind of fruit can fix your sink?
A plum-ber.
What did the bee say to the other bee?
Moo.
Once in 4th grade, right now, I told a random tree, "Hey, my day is bad right now, can we hang later?"
The tree said: "Yeah, we are going to be hanging every day :) !!! If you can last :)"
If you give this a thumbs down, you're gay. If you give it a thumbs up, you're straight.
What did Stephen Hawking say—I mean, type—when he saw a beautiful woman?
"That's the best shag I never had."
Love is the best picture you can use to be able for her and I was able for her in the best place for her and I have to be honest and a great team of the team and the way it goes is the first 4th year of my life in my life as a new 💕.
What did the two crewmates say when they were hanging on a rope? Polus up!
What do you call a white kid who kills another?
Russia vs Ukraine hahaha.
I was gardening and found a chest full of blood... I forgot I was in the cemetery.
Q: What’s a good thing about child molesters?
A: They drive slow through school zones.
I can cry, but I don't have eyes. I can fly, but I don't have wings. Who am I?
A cloud.
Since Christopher Reeves can't play Superman, they got a new person: Christopher Walken.
What did the policeman say to his belly button?
You're under a vest.
What do you call a beehive without an exit? Un-bee-lievable!
I showed my family a few Charlie Kirk debates.
They called him a pain in the neck.
OK, bye.
There is nothing more depressing than a failed suicide attempt.
A Russian walked into a bar... unlucky for him, in Soviet Russia, you don’t walk into bars. Bars walk into you.
A man is pulled over by a police officer.
The policeman approaches the driver's door. "Is there a problem, Officer?"
The officer says, "Sir, you were speeding. Can I see your license, please?"
The driver responds, "I'd give it to you, but I don't have one."
"You don't have one?"
The man responds, "I lost it four times for drunk driving."
The officer is shocked. "I see. Can I see your vehicle registration papers, please?"
"I'm sorry, I can't do that."
The officer says, "Why not?"
"I stole this car."
The officer says, "Stole it?"
The man says, "Yes, and I killed the owner."
At this point the officer is getting irate. "You what?!"
"She's in the trunk if you want to see."
The officer looks at the man and slowly backs away to his own car and calls for backup. Within minutes, five police cars show up, surrounding the car. A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half-drawn gun.
The senior officer says, "Sir, could you step out of your vehicle, please?"
The man steps out of his vehicle. "Is there a problem, sir?"
"One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner."
"Murdered the owner?"
The officer responds, "Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car, please?"
The man opens the trunk, but there is nothing there.
The officer says, "Is this your car, sir?"
The man says, "Yes," and hands over the registration papers.
The officer, understandably, is quite stunned.
"One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving license."
The man digs through his pockets, pulls out a wallet, and hands it to the officer. The officer opens the wallet and examines the license. He looks quite puzzled.
"Thank you, sir. One of my officers told me you didn't have a license, stole this car, and murdered the owner."
The man replies, "I bet you the lying bastard told you I was speeding, too!"
What does Joe Biden call a room full of kids? A toy room.
Yo momma's so fat, when she bought a fur coat, all animals went extinct.