Aed jokes
I just watched a 9/11 documentary on a plane. Man next to me said, "You know we're going to New York, right?" I told him I just wanna know what I got into.
My friend was in a crash, so when he got put in a wheelchair, people bullied him, so I told him to stand up for himself.
I told my friend that we should dress up as P. Diddy and Drake for Halloween and ask parents if their kid wants to come over for a sleepover.
Why do you call a fat midget?
Jiggly Puff.
What does a pregnant slave and a payless sale have in common?
Buy one, get one free.
What do you call lesbian sex during their period?
A blood transfusion.
What do you say to a depressed person on the ceiling?
Hang in there!
What’s an orphan's favorite drink?
Fosters.
When an orphan takes a pic, is it known as a family picture? 📸
What do you get when you mix birth control and LSD?
A trip without kids.
How is a push-up bra like a bag of chips?
As soon as you open it, you realize it’s half empty.
They say give a man an inch, he'll take a mile. What about women? They don't have dicks.
My girlfriend told me she used to be a Christian. I asked her why she isn't anymore and she said she liked the name Christina better.
I took my girlfriend to a Chinese restaurant. One hour after ordering, I went to ask the chef what was going on. That was until I heard barking from the kitchen.
Technically, a human is hollow. We have an empty tube through us from the mouth and nose to the asshole and dick or pussy. We are basically tubes.
When you play Flappy Bird in 9/11, the bird is a plane and the obstacle courses are towers.
What did the Chinese girl say when she had a baby?
"Sum ting wong."
Being alive is so expensive, I am not even having a good time doing it.
What is an orphan's favorite period? Homeroom.
Two men ran into a bar. You would have thought after the first one hit it, the second one would have seen it.