Aed jokes
Me: I found a group of furries in the woods.
Voice in back: Well, it looks like we're going huntin'.
Why is Hitler a better person than Jeffrey Epstein?
At least Hitler killed himself.
What's the difference between a Palestinian and SpongeBob's Sandy Cheeks?
One is living in a bubble, the other one in rubble.
I lost my virginity to a girl with Down syndrome.
I want my first time to be special.
What do you get after a leper has a hot bath? ... Porridge.
Me all the time :
A horse walks into a bar. Several people get up and leave, realizing the potential danger in the situation.
What's the difference between a cranky two-year-old and a duckling? One is a whiny toddler, and the other is a tiny waddler.
This girl came to me and said, "I got raped in my sleep!"
I replied, "I done it as a joke."
-April 1, 2020
Why can't orphans have a five-star GTA because they're not wanted?
You have a six-minute timer to live, but when you breathe, it resets.
What's yellow and can't swim?
A dead goldfish.
What's the hardest part of a vegetable to eat?
The wheelchair. 😎
A hamburger walks into a bar.
The bartender says, "I'm sorry. We don't serve food here."
When Chuck Norris breaks a mirror, the mirror gets seven years of bad luck.
Michael Jackson was on a boat with a bunch of children. The boat captain comes up to him and says, "Michael, we've come into some trouble and the boat is about to sink. We need to get off the boat right now." "But what about the children?" The captain said, "F*** them." Michael Jackson responded, "Is there enough time?"
Yo mama is so fat that when she walks, she causes earthquakes. She is so big that she has her own zip code and gravity field. She is so heavy that she needs a crane to get out of bed. She is so obese that she can't fit in any clothes, except for a circus tent. She is so large that she blocks the sun and causes eclipses.
I was talking to my Welsh friend the other day, and he suddenly started talking Welsh to me then collapsed after the first few sentences. Turns out he had a stroke.
Three kids one day found a magical slide. There was a sign next to it saying, “Whatever you wish for comes true once you slide down.” One kid stepped up and slid down. He wished for a river of chocolate, thus he swam in a chocolate river.
The second kid slid down and wished for a mountain of money. He then landed in a pile of money. The third kid went down and said, “Weeeeeeee!”
Why did Helen Keller ride a broken roller coaster?
She didn't see anything wrong with it.
Why did the bald man paint rabbits on his head?
Because from a distance, they looked like hare.