Aed jokes
How many CIA agents does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
They don't need lightbulbs--they glow in the dark.
Me: Hi, my name is...
Bro: Hey guys! So who are you?
Me: Hey, stop dude!
Bro: How is it going, bro--
Me: SHUT UP!
Bro: Is that a gun?
Me: *Pointing at bro*
Bro: Dude, I'm...
Me: *BANG* *BANG*
Me: Finally, it's over.
What do you call a gay grenade?
A fragette.
What is the similarity between math and buildings?
Two parallel lines can be intersected by a plane.
One day I met a blind guy and I said, "You should see Mt. Cheaha!"
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
A dragon.
A dragon who?
The dragon gonna drag its balls across your face.
What happens when you find a bomb at your local bazaar?
It becomes a flee market.
I sat down and reminisced about the past. I remembered all the people I've lost along the way.
Maybe becoming a tour guide wasn't a good idea.
Where do leg amputees go to buy a car? IHOP
I had an operation on my knee, but it was a joint effort.
Two tourists climb a mountain that utters certain doom.
One tourist falls down. The tourist that's still on the mountain says, "You ok down there?"
The other tourist says, "Can't I just rest in peace?!"
What does Bugs Bunny say when he has a boner?
"What's up, cock?"
What was the guy with no arms, legs, or a head name?
Matt.
Me and my friend were hunting ducks. He had a 12 gauge shotgun, and he looked over and I had a .50 caliber machine gun. He said, "You're crazy!" I responded, "Quackers."
What is the difference between a baby and a trampoline?
You take your shoes off to jump on one.
POV: You are 7 years old and you find a stick. SWORD.
So I was at the store and I saw a pretty woman, and I said, "Hi."
Quickly, she said, "I am not interested. I have a husband."
And when I saw the woman again, she said, "I need help."
I said, "No, call your husband!" KARMA. 😂😜
What makes laissez-faire and a gangbang the same?
Not my problem.
Why is Biden a priest?
So kids call him father.
When you end up pregnant...
Mom told me if a boy touched my breast I should say "DON'T," and if he touched me down there I should say "STOP." But Dad, he touched me both places at once so I said, "DON'T STOP! DON'T STOP!" 😂