Aed jokes

Q: What do you call it when four Mexicans drown in quicksand?

A: Cuatro Cinco.

I am about to make a joke about cake. You butter believe it.

Hot women with big boobs work at Hooters, but where does a handicap woman work?

IHOP.

So, Little Johnny's teacher is warned at the beginning of the school year not to ever make a bet with Johnny unless she is absolutely sure she will win it. One day in class, Johnny raises his hand and says, "Teacher, I'll bet you $50 I can guess what color your underwear is." She replies, "Okay, meet me after class and we'll settle it." But before class ends, she goes to the restroom and removes her panties. After class is over and the students clear out, Johnny makes his guess. "Blue." "Nope. You got it wrong," she says as she lifts her skirt to reveal she isn't wearing any underwear. "Well, come with me out to my dad's car, he's waiting for me, and I'll get you the money." She follows him out. When they get to the car, she informs his dad that he got the bet wrong and that she showed Johnny that she wasn't wearing any underwear. His dad exclaims: "That mother fucker! He bet me $100 this morning that he'd see your pussy before the end of the day!"

A farmer walks up to his farmer neighbor with a jug of milk. The farmer says, "I milked your cow." The neighbor replies, "I have a bull, not a cow."

Why couldn’t the toilet paper cross the road?

Because it was stuck in a crack.

What do you do when a person with epilepsy gets seizures in the bathtub? Throw in some laundry.

I went to the principal's office because I gave a deaf kid ear pods for his birthday.

Why were the Twin Towers mad? Because when they spawned in a Minecraft world, all they got was plains.

Ninety percent of your beauty can be removed with a Kleenex.

Oh, were you talking to me? I thought you only talked behind my back.

Hold still, I am trying to imagine you with a personality.

Q: Who are the fastest readers? A: Twin Tower victims, they got 80 stories in ten seconds.

I saw my wife at the dam yesterday. Drat. I was hoping she might float a bit more downstream.

What do you call a fish with no eye?

Fsh.

Michael Jackson is pure cheese.

I mean, Jacko comes on a little cracker.

Q: How many ADHD kids does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: Wanna go ride a bike?

There is a thin line between death and life!

You won't live to see it.....

The Cardiogram will!!

How does a Muslim close a door? He islams it.

The thing I don't like about shopping centers...

When you see one, you've seen a mall.

When people make accounts about you and a category.

Everyone's had a mind-blowing day before, just ask JFK.