Aed jokes

What do you do when you finish a magazine at school? Put another one in and continue!

What do you call Amber Heard crying during the lawsuit?

A DEPPression.

(If you are a fan of either Johnny Depp or Amber Heard, you might get the joke).

Teacher: Okay class, what's a word that begins with A?

Student: Apple!

Teacher: Good! What's a word beginning with B?

Student:....Bitch...

What's a pirate's favorite shop?

Arrrrrrrrgos.

What was Frankenstein's second job? -- He was a bodybuilder.

If you ever get mad at a person that crumpled their leg, don't forget that they can hide, but they can't run.

How does a peadophile help a kid with maths? He adds the bed, divides the clothes, and multiplies with the whole classroom.

Apparently, rock bottom has a basement.... :\

What do you call a passport for Mandalorians?

A Pre Visa!

A poster for the winter relief fund reads: "No one should be allowed to go hungry or suffer from the cold." A worker says to his friend, "Now were not even allowed to do that."

How many hookers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

One, cause they'll screw anything.

Sir, I mustache you a question...

Ah, never mind, I'll just shave it for later.

What does it mean if you can remember a girl's eye color?

She had small tits.

What vegetable is good for your memory? A carrot, because the last time I had one shoved up my ass, I never forgot about it.

What do you call a white girl with a yeast infection? A cracker with cheese.

Why are there no pharmacies in Africa?

Because you can't have medicine on an empty stomach.

Ruin a quote by attributing it to the wrong person.

"Don't cry because it is over. Smile because it happened." -Adolf Hitler, 1945.

What do you call a smart blonde?

Nonexistent.

During a discussion at Sunday school, a nun asks the children what they think God takes you by when you die. A kid responds, "I think God takes you by your feet, because once I walked into my parents' room and my mom's feet were in the air and she was screaming, "Oh God, I'm coming!!!"

When two wheelchairs hit each other, is it a fender bender?