Aed jokes
A skeleton decided to become an assassin.
He was always skull-king around!
A poor person came up to me and said, "You're ugly." I said, "You remind me of Spider-Man: No Way Home."
I was driving when I saw a kid chasing after a ball, but I didn’t have enough time to slow down. Then I pulled over, and the dad yelled, "What the fuck did you do?" I looked into the street and saw the ball completely deflated and the kid crying, "Now I gotta hear him bitch and moan all day," he continues.
What's the difference between a hipster and a hockey player? A hockey player changes his pads every third period.
I recently learned that churches won’t let trans men become priests because they don’t consider trans men as men, which is rather confusing to me.
As a Jew, I don’t know very much about Christianity, but from what I’ve heard, don’t priests love little boys?
Hey Gwen, listen, I know you're on this app, fake or not. I love you either way. Please find this faker and finish her off for what she's done, real Gwen.
*You're a real best Gwen*
Superman has been called to a huge house fire. Superman: "There you are ma'am, everyone out and all safe!" Mother: "But my children are still inside! You need to go back an--" Superman: "Ah fuck'em..."
What is the difference between human rights and the Earth?
The Earth has been to be between two games a year after school, a time and fun game that has.
If sugar is a drug, does that mean putting it in coffee is overdose?
My friend looks like a homeless, thanks for the jokes.
Teacher: What comes after C?
Me: Ooh! Ooh! C4!
Teacher: Umm, ok... but still what comes after A?
Me: AK47!!!
Teacher thought: Oh hell na.
Teacher: What comes after X?
Me: Xplosin.
1 second later, bomb goes off. Idk.
If Pete and Chasten Buttigieg had a baby, it would be a turd covered in semen.
Every time I work late at the hospital, I help the patients sleep.
There isn't a snooze button on the beeping things, so I unplug them.
My daughter came home from school later than usual. I was panicking, then at 5:30 p.m. she arrived, not walking but in a bus 🚌. I asked, "Where the hell did this bus come from?" She said, "The garage in the alleyway, Mama. I bought it for five gummies and eight buttons. You like her? She is called Belle Bus." My face was just: 😑 How did you get the bus here? She replies with a whisper, "I drove her through five gardens, a house, and two police cars!" 🙃 So that explains why you have handcuffs on. "Yeah!"
What's the difference between an orphan and a slice of pizza?
Nothing, I eat both of them.
I'm not calling you a slut, I'm calling you a penny: two-faced, worthless, and in everyone's pants.
Yahahlmsyw.
That stand for:
You are has a whole, let me show you why.
What do you call an autistic kid with a gun? Special forces.
Q: What was the last thing the United Healthcare CEO heard before he got shot?
A: "It's me, Luigi!"
Yo mama so fat, that when she gets in a monster truck, it becomes a low-rider!