Aed jokes
Teacher: Okay class, what's a word that begins with A?
Student: Apple!
Teacher: Good! What's a word beginning with B?
Student:....Bitch...
What do you call a person with Down syndrome in the military?
Special Forces.
What’s the best part about fucking an emo chick?... she's limited edition.
How many gays does it take to put in a light bulb?
Only one... but it takes the entire Emergency Room to get it out.
What do you get after a leper has a hot bath? ... Porridge.
A hamburger walks into a bar.
The bartender says, "I'm sorry. We don't serve food here."
What's yellow and can't swim?
A dead goldfish.
This girl came to me and said, "I got raped in my sleep!"
I replied, "I done it as a joke."
-April 1, 2020
Why can't orphans have a five-star GTA because they're not wanted?
You have a six-minute timer to live, but when you breathe, it resets.
When two wheelchairs hit each other, is it a fender bender?
What's the difference between a cranky two-year-old and a duckling? One is a whiny toddler, and the other is a tiny waddler.
A horse walks into a bar. Several people get up and leave, realizing the potential danger in the situation.
When Chuck Norris breaks a mirror, the mirror gets seven years of bad luck.
Michael Jackson was on a boat with a bunch of children. The boat captain comes up to him and says, "Michael, we've come into some trouble and the boat is about to sink. We need to get off the boat right now." "But what about the children?" The captain said, "F*** them." Michael Jackson responded, "Is there enough time?"
I was talking to my Welsh friend the other day, and he suddenly started talking Welsh to me then collapsed after the first few sentences. Turns out he had a stroke.
Three kids one day found a magical slide. There was a sign next to it saying, “Whatever you wish for comes true once you slide down.” One kid stepped up and slid down. He wished for a river of chocolate, thus he swam in a chocolate river.
The second kid slid down and wished for a mountain of money. He then landed in a pile of money. The third kid went down and said, “Weeeeeeee!”
Why did Helen Keller ride a broken roller coaster?
She didn't see anything wrong with it.
What does Michael Jackson and a lion have in common?
They're both predators.
Why did the bald man paint rabbits on his head?
Because from a distance, they looked like hare.