Aed jokes
Guys, this is so wrong. I'm an orphan and this extremely offends me. I'm telling my parents, um.......
What do a relationship and suicidal thought have in common? They’ll both end soon.
After a suicide joke say, "Don't leave me hanging, or I'll cut it out."
How many hookers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
One, cause they'll screw anything.
Sir, I mustache you a question...
Ah, never mind, I'll just shave it for later.
I'm still not sure how I'm not in jail or have been fined for littering. When I was born, I was born in a hospital trash can, therefore making me a literal piece of trash. That being said, any time I'm out in public, I'm a piece of litter.
Why did Mary have a little lamb? Because a big one was too much in bed.
Why don’t witches wear underwear?
To get a better grip on their broom.
I wrote down a speech at home yesterday.
When I got to school, I was speechless.
Yo mama so ugly, Itachi couldn't look at her to put her in a genjutsu.
Why do animals in polar regions have thick fur? Because they don't have a barber! 🤣 🤣 🤣
A grasshopper jumps into a bar.
The bartender says, "We've got a drink named after you."
The grasshopper says, "Seriously? Why would you name a drink Callum?"
I tried to come up with a funny pun about squirrels, but all my ideas were nuts.
Question: Why did the blonde get excited after finishing a puzzle in 5 months?
Answer: The box said 3-5 years!
What’s the best part about fucking an emo chick?... she's limited edition.
What did the short Chinese man say when he was called a dwarf? "Da fok yu sai tu meee."
What do you call a cleaning skeleton?
The Grim Sweeper.
My mom wanted me to build her a shed for her useless things, then she told me to go live in it.
Q. What's an orphan's favorite South Park episode?
A. The anti-Family Guy episode.
The closest thing in a depressed person's life is a knife and his/her throat.