Aed jokes
What do you call a blind German?
A not see.
I can’t hang out with an emo when they are sad? Why? Because it cuts deeply.
A man crashed his new expensive car into a tree. He now knew how the Mercedes bends.
When I was teaching my dog tricks, a Chinese man came to me and asked, "Why were you playing with your food?"
What do you call an angry Texan?
A Confederate leader.
My grandfather says I'm too reliant on technology. I called him a hypocrite and unplugged his life support.
I walked into a room full of men masturbating. They all looked shocked when I didn't stop.
What was the Roman Empire cut in half by?
A pair of Caesars.
A hot girl wants to commit suicide and jump from a bridge when an ugly, smelly, homeless weirdo walks up to her. And he says, "Hey you hot babe, let's fuck." She just answers, "Get the fuck away you ugly bastard." The guy just laughs and says, "Alright, I'll wait down there."
What is a Mexican’s favorite band?
Twenty Juan Pilots.
What did the soldier say when he sees a terrorist in a wheelchair?
RC-XD incoming.
Why do heterosexual men like to receive an anonymous blowjob at an adult bookstore? Because they don't want gay men and bisexual men in the LGBT community to find out that they also like getting their cocks sucked by men, but they don't want gay and bisexual men in the LGBT community to find out.
Chuck Norris can make a fire with two ice cubes.
What do you call 2 Indians on a dating website? Connect the dots.
Like this if you are a single Pringle like me.
What objects have the most gravitational force?
A Lambo and a gold digger.
What do you call a plane with no wings? Sally.
A kid asks his mom, "Mom, how much do you love me?" The mother responds with, "I love you as much as I love your brother." The kid looks confused and says, "But I don't have a brother." The mother smiles and says, "Well, I guess my love is not existing."
What does a kid and wine have in common?
Shit, I forgot, but they're both locked in my cellar right now.
What's a similarity between The Ark of the Covenant, The Holy Grail and a bunch of 12 year olds?
They are all locked in the Priest's basement.