Aed jokes
This one time I said to a person that they are dry, then I was wet (ba dum tiss).
My bully said I have to shut up. I said, "Shut down" (ba dum tiss).
According to all known laws of aviation,
there is no way a bee should be able to fly.
Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground.
The bee, of course, flies anyway
because bees don't care what humans think is impossible.
Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black.
Ooh, black and yellow! Let's shake it up a little.
Barry! Breakfast is ready!
Coming!
Hang on a second.
Hello?
- Barry? - Adam?
- Can you believe this is happening? - I can't. I'll pick you up.
Looking sharp.
Use the stairs. Your father paid good money for those.
Sorry. I'm excited.
Here's the graduate. We're very proud of you, son.
A perfect report card, all B's.
Very proud.
Ma! I got a thing going here.
- You got lint on your fuzz. - Ow! That's me!
- Wave to us! We'll be in row 118,000. - Bye!
Barry, I told you, stop flying in the house!
Well, I don't have a joke but... I have a poem.
My dick is red, your pussy is blue. I... lied to you.
Do you want to hear a dark joke? Let me turn the lights off.
This one butt cheek said to the other one, "It's really personal, but it's okay, I'll tell you." It said, "Hey, let's go to my crib so we can smoke a little joint, watch a movie, and go upstairs in the room and get down."
Yo mama is so fat, she couldn't even fit through the rabbit hole at first because she ate like a damn pig last night when we had dinner.
Q: Sex is great, only your mate can sometimes be a little nuts!
(I am still a single young virgin.)
A Mexican is drunk and he has a passenger in the car, and the passenger asked, "Where are we going?"
The Mexican says, "I'm not driving, the drunk guy is."
"Want to hear a joke about pizza? Never mind, it is too cheesy."
"YOU MORON ITS *TOO* not TO, IM GOING TO EAT YOU ALIVE AND RIP OUT YOUR PROSTATE"
Bell is so ugly, she acts like a boy.
Look over there, I say to a man... he was blind. /ratio /bozo /ratio
You are so skinny that they won't let you ride a fucking roller coaster because you flew before.
What's the difference between an orphan dying and a bag of groceries being dropped?
While most agree that both are unfortunate, people actually care when they drop their groceries.
Your mom should show you your real home. The trash!
If death was an option for a look, you could be the first.
What did the cancer doctor say?
You just got a new Christmas present—cancer!
Did Jesus die a virgin?
No... He got nailed! 😅
What's the difference between a dead hooker and a watermelon?
The watermelon didn't scream when I sliced it.
"Akeld" sounds like a 56-year-old man just picking on kids for no reason. I say, get a life!
Ah, son of a bitch, I got the truth stuck on my shoe?!?!
The truth: Breast feeding is like having long sex with your baby. God dammit, I hate the truth!
This isn't a joke, but in some countries, children eat their shit for better digestion when constipated.