Aed jokes
A polar bear walks into a bar, asks the barman, “A pint of lager................. and a packet of crisps.”
The barman asks, “Why the large pause?”
(This isn't really a joke btw anyway.) SpongeBob, me boy, ye ruptured me intestines with that massive c*ck of yours, agahgahagahagahagah!
What does this joke and half a deck of cards have in common?
You can't even deal with it!
What do you get when you are hungry? A dog to eat.
Q: If an electric train heads south, which way does the steam go?
A: No steam.
What is a milk?
Milk!!!!
What time is it when you get hit by a car? Time to die.
I had a glass of Schweppes lemonade in one hand and a glass of R. Whites in the other. I got into a hot sweat. I think I have Corona Virus.
How does a cow introduce his wife?
Meet Patty.
A guy walks up to me in the street and asks if you have to include the name of an animal in every sentence. I said only if it's relephant.
He says what about vegetables. I said not nesecelery.
I gave her a lift back to her crib because her car wouldn’t start.
I was at a football match, and the ball was getting closer. Then it hit me. *face palm*
How does a well-educated graduate approach a delicate situation?
I don't know, how does a well-graduated education approach a what?
With a degree!
Kenny's dick is so small that instead of giving him a handjob, I gave him a thumb and forefinger job.
Son: Hey dad, why is my name Canada?
Dad: Because you were made there.
Mum: We haven't been to Canada.
Dad: Hol' up a minute.
We used to have a tail on the back... and now it moves forward.
I was on a plane and my mom said, "It's just a little turbulence."
And I said, "Mom, we just got on the runway!"
Q. What's the difference between people and a toilet?
A. Neither does R. Kelly.
Mommy, why is my name Brick???
Mom: When you were a little baby, a brick dropped on your head.
Mommy, why is my name Rose???
Mom: When you were a little baby, a rose petal dropped on your head.
Brick walks in, "Blagudnunag."
Want to hear a joke? Look at the Miami Dolphins football record.