Aed jokes
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What's a penguin's favorite relative?
Sike, I lied, your mom is a guy!
I asked my nan if she wouldn't mind shitting in a bucket when we went camping. She replied, "Why the fuck would I want to sit in a bucket?" So eventually she did, and I took the best shit I have ever had!
If a computer was an apartment, the only passage would be the windows.
It would have had doors, but why was it ever spelt DOS?
So last night I went on a taxi and I showed them your photo. All they said was I could ride him, it would be expensive though, since from his eyebrows to hairline is at least £100.
"Joe momma" is called that because it means "you're a mistake."
Q: Name a murderer?
Aborted fetus: My mum.
Why do orphans want an iPhone S? Because it has a home screen.
What does a frozen loading screen and a Make-A-Wish kid have in common?
They both couldn't make it all the way.
This isn't really a joke, but it's true. Your picture for your funeral may have already been taken :)
If you bully a kid, bully an orphan.
What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
I want to be a pilot.
I am a good role model, because you look up to me. Deez nuts!
Q: Why do women only use their lefts?
A: Because they don't have any rights.
Someone bullied a disabled person.
The disabled person said they can't stand it.
What do you call a Chinese car thief?
Tommy Tookamota.
Doctor: I’m so sorry, sir, but you only have a couple months left.
The sir: My children will be devastated.
Doctor: But I have a shot that can change that.
The sir: Whatever it takes.
*Suppressed gunshots*
I went to China and said, "I have a big cock," so they thought I said they look like a cock. Then I realized I said it in English.
Why did the pony have to gargle? Maybe because he was feeling a little hoarse.