Aed jokes
Q: If a cat says to a dog, "All dogs are liars," and the dog says to the cat, "All cats are liars," what does it mean?
A: It means cats and dogs can talk.
When a homeless kid goes to school and the teacher says, "You have homework tonight," he said, "Sorry, Teach, I don't got a home."
If you wait for a woman to get 9 months pregnant and kill her, you will never be able to stop the loop.
I went to the super market one day and I saw a Caesar salad for 69 dollars. Next minute someone comes up to me and says, "Caesar deez nutz!"
Why was the tamale in the hospital? Because he was a "tamalito."
How do you tell a male skeleton from a female skeleton by the BONERS lmao?
Me: Do you know a funny joke?
Friend: Yes, you.
You know that feeling when you're going through a school parking lot and go over a speed bump, then you realize that there are no speed bumps?
What's the difference between your mom and a fat female cow...
A female cow doesn't have a dick.
A customer asked me to look at their hairline. I time traveled back to the dinosaurs.
Boy/girl: I love you.
Me: I love me too! But sorry, my mom said I can't date trash. Go back to the trashcan.
The boy/girl: I- *Is depressed*
Me: Let's go to Randy's.
Friend: There's no Randy's.
Me: Ran deez nuts with a car.
What do you call an underwater maid?
A mermaid! 😂😂😂😂
"Stephen Hawking was talking about a cash register at Costco when he said I can’t stand these people. 😳😳😳😳😳😳 What did he saaaaaaayyyyyyy?"
I put a magnet in my butthole and made the teachers smell it.
My Friend: Why does Santa look like that?
My 15 Year Old Friend: He has secateurs cancer...
Me: I heard it's because he comes once a year.
*Everyone Looks at me*
What do you call a dwarf that fell into a cement mixer?
A wee hard man.
What do you call a fat Mexican rat?
Rasmus.
Q: What did one snake say to the other?
A: Nothing because they are both dead.
What happened to the police that crossed the road?
They solved a murder involving the nut case.