Aed jokes

Knott and Shott got into a gunfight. Knott was shot and Shott was not. Therefore, it was better to be Shott than Knott. But what if the shot Shott shot didn't hit Knott but Shott? Then the shot Shott shot shot Shott.

What do you call a cow who plays an instrument? -- A moosician.

One day, a snail got robbed by two turtles. Once the cops arrived and asked what had happened, the snail said, "I don't know, it all happened too fast!"

Me and my friend went to the park. After a while, we grabbed our little princess and said, "It's time to go, sweetie." But before we could go, someone said, "Stop them, they have my daughter!"

How can you tell the difference between a chemist and a plumber?

Ask them to pronounce "unionized".

Your mama so stupid, she brought a spoon to the Super Bowl.

Yo mama so old, she knew Burger King when he was a prince.

I am a big fan of whiteboards. I find them quite re-markable.

There was a murder. The detective suspected the artist first... because he was sketchy.

Why can't orphans work at S.C. Johnson?

Cause it's a family company.

What first went through Sally's mind when the Nazis came? - A bullet.

A man goes into heaven and there he meets Jesus. He asks Jesus what that broken clock is there for. Jesus says, "That is Mother Teresa's clock, it has never moved because she has never lied." "There is Abraham Lincoln's clock. He has lied twice so it has moved twice." "Where is Donald Trump's?" asks the man. Jesus answers, "It is in my office, I am using it as a ceiling fan."

⚠️I’m not racist it’s just a joke⚠️

What do you call four black ppl in a sleeping bag?

A Kit Kat

If a fly loses its wings, is it now a walk? Wait a minute, I found out a mind blower. So the 🌎 is the 3rd planet from the sun, doesn't that mean all countries are called the 3rd country of 🌎? If I get 10 likes, I'll do one mind-blowing fact daily.

What does an Al Qaeda terrorist and a flexible man have in common?

They can blow themselves up.

Imagine you're playing GTA and you finally found out how to take out a gun: Option 1: shoot someone Option 2: suicide

Me: Aren't they the same thing?

I was going on a date when I decided to put on Penaldo’s PR7 cologne to smell good. As I put on the cologne, my skin started to turn invisible!

I then realized the cologne had made me turn into a ghost 👻. Shame on you, Penaldo, for ruining my date 😡!

Q. What's a disabled person's favorite band?

A. System of a Down's syndrome.

What do a prostitute and peanut butter have in common?

They both spread for bread.

Kenny can't find a girlfriend because neither of his sisters can fuck as good as his mom could.