Aed

Aed jokes

Dad

My dad has the heart of a soldier, and a restraining order from the soldier's family.

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    • Ion

    Looks like I lost an electron, I should keep a better ion them.

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    • Poison

    A depressed kid takes a drink of water and someone takes it and takes a drink. "Oh come on, the train stopped, the rope broke, I couldn't get on the building, the gun was empty, the knife was dull, the bridge was too low, and the cliff was nonexistent, and now you took the poison!"

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    • School

    Sarah goes to school, and the teacher says, "Today we are going to learn multi-syllable words, class. Does anybody have an example of a multi-syllable word?" Sarah waves her hand, "Me, Miss Rogers, me, me!" Miss Rogers says, "All right, Sarah, what is your multi-syllable word?" Sarah says, "Mas-tur-bate." Miss Rogers smiles and says, "Wow, Sarah, that's a mouthful." Sarah says, "No, Miss Rogers, you're thinking of a blowjob."

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    • Guy

    So this guy is talking to his buddy about his flying lessons. "My first time in the air, my instructor informed me that he was an 8th degree black belt and homosexual, and if I don't succumb to his sexual advances I would have to jump out of the plane," and his buddy says, "Well, did you jump?" The guy says, "Yeah, a little at first."

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    • Memes

    Oxygen

    Haven´t posted in a few months. I will keep posting memes together with @#StayatHome every day :)

    The image shows a search result saying "Oxygen was discovered about 1772" and then shows a picture of a patient with an oxygen mask, labeled "Hospitals in 1771". Next to the patient is a bag of Lay's Classic chips.
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    • Aed memes

    Priest

    What does a priest hold on to when having sex?

    He holds on to the schoolbag.

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    • German

    How many Germans does it take to change a light bulb? -- One. They are efficient and don't have humor.

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    • Parent

    You know what they say about dark humor: it hits harder than a drunk parent.

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    • Seatbelt

    Q. What gets longer if pulled, fits snugly between breasts, slides neatly into a hole, chokes people when used incorrectly, and works well when jerked?

    A. A seatbelt.

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    • Female

    My friend once said my opinion didn't matter. I said, "Why did you call me a female?"

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    • Set up

    I'm trying to come up with a set-up for an amputee joke, but I'm stumped.

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    • Feminist

    How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb?

    Trick question, feminists don't change anything.

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    • Name

    What’s another name for cumming inside a woman?

    Loading the dishwasher.

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