Aed jokes

If you were a fruit, you would be a fineapple.

If you were a vegetable, I would visit you in the hospital.

Why didn't the dog want to play football??

'Cause he was a boxer!

What do you call a bird with no feet? A fly.

A girl did squats everyday with a 20 pound weight in her hand to finally text her boyfriend, "Show me your dick now!"

I saw one kid in a game. He went, "I love you, tree!" He was dumb as cant tell, sorry.

How come Mr. Squirrel watches porn sometimes?

Sometimes he feels like a nut, sometimes he don't.

What's the difference between when I opened the window in a car wash and when Kawhi Leonard did it? At least my dad didn't get shot in the eye.

If there was a zombie apocalypse, girls would make a "forehead apocalypse" since it is so big.

What is an orphan's favorite game?

Happy Family.

I got a GTR yesterday, now my kids say, "GTR we there yet?"

If boys are like sports because they are easy to play, then girls are like a sandwich. They are nice at first, but they're crusty after.

What stands on the side of the road and needs a lot of money to buy?

Billboard, did you think I was gonna say street walker?

An orphan asked his caretaker where his parents are, and the caretaker said, "A place called home."

Your hairline can fit a truck without touching either side.

What do you call a failure in another language?

Me.

What was Helen Keller's favorite game when she was a kid?

I spy.

Yo mama is so fat, when she was a spy, she was called "double obese."

You can't YEE your last HAW!

But I put my BALLS in ur JAW.

I was on a website doing homework, and there was this funny a** commercial banner saying: "Eat a bag of Dick's!" It was the funniest sh*t ever!

The one good thing about an orphan is that they don't get roasted with a "yo mama" joke.