Aed jokes

Why do people play soccer?

Because people need to kick harder to win a parent.

Mummy, how was I born?

Mummy replied, "Well, your father and I got married, and soon I became fat and you came out, and then in, out, in, out, and after you did that a million times, you were born."

I gave a deaf kid AirPods.

What is white and fluffy? A peelo.

I left a ticket to a WNBA game on the dashboard when I went to go get the groceries.

A burglar broke in and left another one on the dashboard.

Twitter just blew my mind.

I was having a blast until I ended the stream with a bang!

Why can't orphans be kidnapped?

Because most kidnappers use a family van.

What did the man say about someone who had a seizure?

"Jit was lagging."

Who's the most popular guy at the nudist colony? The one who can carry a cup of coffee in each hand and a dozen doughnuts.

You're so much like a marshmallow, you're so squishy and sticky, and everyone puts their sticks inside of you.

Why don't pirates take a shower before they walk the plank?

They just wash up on shore.

I asked my mom with cerebral palsy a question.

Still waiting on an answer.

Your mama is so fat that when she ate a burger, she liked it.

You wanna hear an Indian egg joke? (yeah-)

Never mind. You won't understand.

Having cockroaches in the house is a sign that you've food.

These things are like Ugandan girls, they hate poverty.

Sorry for this Pick Up Line.

Are you a building? Because I rate you 9/11, so let me put my plane in and let kids fall out.

I think your hairline might have the hiccups.

Answer to it: You might have to give it a wash in the shower.

Q: When a chip gets popped, what happens to it?

A: It gets pooped out of the bag.

What is an orphan's least favorite holiday?

Christmas, they wish they'd get parents.

Q: What type of flowers do orphans hate? A: Mums.