Aed jokes

My uncle died in 9/11. He was a pilot.

Why couldn't Jesus have been born in Florida?

Answer: They wouldn't be able to find "Three Wise Men" or a virgin!

Yo mama so stupid, she brought a spoon to the Super Bowl.

I met a talking lizard. The doctor told me he had ereptile dysfunction! 🦎

What do you call a Mexican without a lawnmower?

Unemployed.

I just went to India and thought, "Why do they have so many sniper hitmen?" It turns out the red dot isn't a sniper laser.

What do you call a fat downie?

A couch potato.

I read a sign. What it meant to say is, "You matter, don't give up." What I read was, "You don't matter, give up."

What does a "Smart Russian" and a "Unicorn" have in common?

Answer: Non-existence!

Q: What do you call a girl walking down a street?

A: Lost, she's supposed to be in the kitchen.

Your mama is so fat that when she ate a burger, she liked it.

Once I threw the ball at a wheelchair kid. Now we are playing Rocket League! :D

Q: What did the Buffalo say to his son when he left for college?

A: Bison.

I tried to search stuff about 9/11 for a research project, but it didn’t work... I guess the site crashed.

"Hitler and Goring are standing atop the Berlin radio tower. Hitler says he wants to do something to put a smile on Berliners' faces.

So Goring says: 'Why don't you jump?'"

Math Teacher: "If I have 5 bottles in one hand and 6 in the other hand, what do I have?"

Student: "A drinking problem."

I was at the bank yesterday.

A lady asked to check her balance, so I pushed her over.

What does a pumpkin need when it's hurt? A pumpkin patch.

There's a one-story house. Everything's yellow, even the kitchen, living room, and bedrooms. What color are the stairs?

Egg shaped, dome, bowling ball lookin' ass, bald fuck with that 360 degrees ahh head, motherfucker look like a damn balloon.

Call me Kobe 'cause I'm finna use your head as a basketball and throw it at yo' parents. Mr. Clean, bootleg Saitama lookin' ass mfer. No hair? :(